Cash 1.

The frontline of the Nofreehomeless store. The busy zone. The 'you can't step outside of the cash box' place. The cash that I dislike second most (12... 12's the worst... grumpy line waiters... plus, us cashiers get into some serious trouble if we take more than about 12 items... then there's so much paging...etc). Compared to 12, 1's a dream. I don't really mind it. Earlier this week I had a short shift on it. I was in a good mood, which means that everyone going through my cash was forcibly brought to that place. This older couple went through... they are now among my favourite customers. I wasn't directly in front of my cash, so the gentleman said 'who's on first?'... hilarious... I immediately went into the Abbott and Costello bit... sometimes I just love customers...

Cashier Tales: Potential Death by GRAPE

... okay... that may have been a little bit dramatic :P I did almost wipe out though... see it all started with a abandoned order... Purple Caped/Cloaked Jamboree's (now officially fully named because of a misheard 'Jan Brady' reference) order. I'm going to shorten it to Jamby for right now... see Jamby thought she threw said grape in my trash. It must have rebounded off. I was just bugging her... this makes me question the validity of this 'accident'... when I stepped out of the cashier trap and right onto it. It was the biggest grape ever. I went all over the place sliding and such. I looked like a Weeble('s wobble but they don't fall down :P In your head now?). I could have fallen into many many many metal pointy things which would have led to a concrete floor smash down :0 I stayed up though :D I was really proud of myself! But then - again quite obviously dramatically - I just kept picturing my tombstone... 'death by grape'... I was laugh-crying for at least 15 minutes... customers thought I was nuts... I don't blame them for that. Also got into my usual too loud and too quiet trouble... grrrrr... apparently I exist without a middle ground. And had a verbal Facebook war... because I don't have Facebook... I got some customers to back me up ;) Shift over.

I just.

Got recruited. Into. A. Super. Secret. Spy. Crew. As such - I can give no more information. Except that. It. Was. A. Ridiculously. Cute. Invite. Aren't. All. These. Pauses. Dramatic?

Cashiers Tales: The almost fall

Okay - so I may be a little clumsy. The other day I had a good shift. I entertained and was entertained greatly by my fellow cashiers. At the end of it I brought my drawer up to my Christmas Supe. I knocked on the door. Knowing that they were on the phone I decided to distract myself during the wait... by spinning my roll of stickers on top of my drawer. The door opened. I startled. Then because of that the stickers started flying off the drawer. My first response was to save the stickers at all costs. So I almost threw the drawer. At the Christmas Supe. Then I almost fell. I was laughing the entire time - mostly because I was trapped in this first response cycle. Hilarious. We laughed for like 10 minutes. Then I laughed all the way home - that most have looked like the most awkward crazy walk home ever.

Text Errors

I didn't read a text fully. I was lazy. Me and Mr. Si were picking up groceries for Nenners - she was last minute texting additions. I was once again not reading them fully. I read onion, I read lemon, and I read celery. I succeeded in those things. Then - while purchasing the items, I read too quickly and not enough...

 I read 'boy' and 'akkkkkk' - that's it. I put that together as 'bok choy'. I bought unnecessary bok choy... actually... I made Mr. Si run and buy unnecessary bok choy. I'm still laughing.

Birthday of the...

Toothbrush variety!!! That beautiful and just ultimately hilarious girl is 17!!! This is a person who's just awesome - I mean - I've hugged her and fallen onto concrete before - that's just funny. Another time she was in a break into my room phase - for an easily startled person that's just heart rate dangerous - and we were in an epic battle for ground. I forgot about the patio door. It got too silent outside... then I remembered... I ran for it... we got there at the same time... I tried to close it - my favourite part is that we were both screaming at the time. I like that. I let her in right after, but I'm ridiculously competitive - I just needed to win first. She may weirdly know that best because of such instances. Either way - she's a for all time, 9 years running, favourite of mine. Sweet, smart, beautiful, full of heart, whip smart, and hilarious... so hilarious... epic amounts of hilarity reside in her. She's a keeper! I love her muchly. That's a good age too - 17 - she's going to rock it ;D

Observational Fails

Since we're in Ottawa for my sister's wedding some stories ate coming up. I can't wait to share and listen to ones about this soon to be married couple! For right now though, I've just been hearing about and experiencing some of my non-observationally driven stories.

See - last time we were in Ottawa my parents weren't here at the start. We went to the condo on the day that they were surprise flying in for my sisters shower. They'd had some painting done. I noticed nothing... well the colour a little as we settled in. I'd been there for awhile... no small amount of time. They called and asked me how everything looked and how much work needed to be done - the 'clean up' they said. I responded quite simply... saying that everything was in perfect order - Nenners was trying to stop me - gesturing emphatically and the like... nothing was in order at all. I'd walked by the piles of items and the pushed-to the-center of the room furniture many many times. No noticing. Everyone got a good laugh out of it though ;)

Another time also involves furniture - my mom got new chairs for the living room years ago. She didn't tell me. She had mentioned them, but I didn't know they'd been delivered. I think she was just waiting for me. It took days... maybe even a week... she was shocked... I don't know how they're not all used to this yet - it's been my whole life - either I'm hyper-observant or not at all.

When they downsized, my parents dropped off all of the junk from the house for me. There was a horribly embarrassing drawing of me that had been in the spare room... from when I was 16 and in Paris with them. Why on earth would I want that??? Hilarious. Anyways... Nenners had been there for that drop off - I hadn't. I went into my room and was quite startled by it. I carried it upstairs in shock. I needed to use it as a prop in my 'this is embarrassing and something I would never want' speech. I had to laugh. Anyways, at some point I put it down. I promptly forgot about it. I got back from work one day and grabbed a glass of water. I was zonked so I just sat in the nearest chair - I don't normally do that. Then I looked up - Waywin had put the 'portrait' up above the computer. If I hadn't sat there, I don't know how long it would have taken me. Thank you thirst ;)

Today I was drawing (quite horribly) on my parents iPad. It was positioned so that I was looking up towards the door - but I wasn't looking up at all. I was laying down on the floor playing, when all of a sudden something grazed my sole! I jumped a foot (hehehe... puny) - Nenners and her berks were the culprit. She thought I'd been looking right at her. Not the case. I can feel it even now - like an hour later. Writing about it made me shudder. Off to get over it... maybe I should learn to be more observant. Nah :P