Birthday of the...

Toothbrush variety!!! That beautiful and just ultimately hilarious girl is 17!!! This is a person who's just awesome - I mean - I've hugged her and fallen onto concrete before - that's just funny. Another time she was in a break into my room phase - for an easily startled person that's just heart rate dangerous - and we were in an epic battle for ground. I forgot about the patio door. It got too silent outside... then I remembered... I ran for it... we got there at the same time... I tried to close it - my favourite part is that we were both screaming at the time. I like that. I let her in right after, but I'm ridiculously competitive - I just needed to win first. She may weirdly know that best because of such instances. Either way - she's a for all time, 9 years running, favourite of mine. Sweet, smart, beautiful, full of heart, whip smart, and hilarious... so hilarious... epic amounts of hilarity reside in her. She's a keeper! I love her muchly. That's a good age too - 17 - she's going to rock it ;D

Observational Fails

Since we're in Ottawa for my sister's wedding some stories ate coming up. I can't wait to share and listen to ones about this soon to be married couple! For right now though, I've just been hearing about and experiencing some of my non-observationally driven stories.

See - last time we were in Ottawa my parents weren't here at the start. We went to the condo on the day that they were surprise flying in for my sisters shower. They'd had some painting done. I noticed nothing... well the colour a little as we settled in. I'd been there for awhile... no small amount of time. They called and asked me how everything looked and how much work needed to be done - the 'clean up' they said. I responded quite simply... saying that everything was in perfect order - Nenners was trying to stop me - gesturing emphatically and the like... nothing was in order at all. I'd walked by the piles of items and the pushed-to the-center of the room furniture many many times. No noticing. Everyone got a good laugh out of it though ;)

Another time also involves furniture - my mom got new chairs for the living room years ago. She didn't tell me. She had mentioned them, but I didn't know they'd been delivered. I think she was just waiting for me. It took days... maybe even a week... she was shocked... I don't know how they're not all used to this yet - it's been my whole life - either I'm hyper-observant or not at all.

When they downsized, my parents dropped off all of the junk from the house for me. There was a horribly embarrassing drawing of me that had been in the spare room... from when I was 16 and in Paris with them. Why on earth would I want that??? Hilarious. Anyways... Nenners had been there for that drop off - I hadn't. I went into my room and was quite startled by it. I carried it upstairs in shock. I needed to use it as a prop in my 'this is embarrassing and something I would never want' speech. I had to laugh. Anyways, at some point I put it down. I promptly forgot about it. I got back from work one day and grabbed a glass of water. I was zonked so I just sat in the nearest chair - I don't normally do that. Then I looked up - Waywin had put the 'portrait' up above the computer. If I hadn't sat there, I don't know how long it would have taken me. Thank you thirst ;)

Today I was drawing (quite horribly) on my parents iPad. It was positioned so that I was looking up towards the door - but I wasn't looking up at all. I was laying down on the floor playing, when all of a sudden something grazed my sole! I jumped a foot (hehehe... puny) - Nenners and her berks were the culprit. She thought I'd been looking right at her. Not the case. I can feel it even now - like an hour later. Writing about it made me shudder. Off to get over it... maybe I should learn to be more observant. Nah :P

Parental Wifi Issues

See... my parental units are technologically challenged. I've gotten international calls asking for help. The best thing is that I'm not really technologically savvy myself - I'm just not as scared. So, my parents moved quite awhile ago - they got a new router when they did. They lost the password. Completely understandable. It's written down somewhere - but they didn't tell the new one to me... Mr. Si was with them at the time... remembers them mentioning emailing it to me... they forgot to do that too. I had to reset the whole thing. I called the system Condo_Coolies... Hehehe... then I set an absolutely awesome song as their password. Wrote it down everywhere... also logged it into every tech system in the house :) I should think of another tech prank... an unfixable one. I've already embarrassed the wifi name today. Plus in the past I've changed ringtones on their cell phones, customized their ring in florida, took random pictures that come up when regular people call, re-named their channel guides, and maybe some more random things too :P This way I get paid for my tech support by my own laughter... it works.

Cashier Tales: Of the Concrete Variety

So I was being a crazy person at work today. Once again they put me next to an awesome co-worker of a split superhero/villain nature (her choice not mine - anyone who refers to multiple coats as capes obviously has unique issues). Hilarity ensued. Later on I was bringing through a customer who's total was crazy high - I didn't notice it - they most definitely did. Couldn't figure out where I went wrong - I usually check the produce codes as I put them in. Then I was undone by a great and unexpected source. The bags... the PC points that we have to enter... I never check them because no code is close to it. 53398. It went in as 5398. It went in twice. It went in at 49.99!!! Each!!! As a concrete boot! Why do we have concrete boots in the system? A customer answered that question. It involved mob ties. Day over (say such things dramatically in a mob-ish manner... figure out what that is first... I can't help you with that).

Nursery Mishaps

Since I'm in nursery at Church tonight I finally remembered to write this one down! I was in there awhile ago with none of my 'usuals' collection of people - that always throws me off. I was talking about ways to make a particular kid stop crying. So I'm gesturing to these hanging paper flowers saying 'if you hit them on the head with a paper flower they'll stop'... because they will - you seriously just have to walk them under and you're set. It was one of those pin drop moments - I mean I can be loud (really really loud), but I was being quiet at the time. Everyone heard me, but no one heard the whole paper flower part. Selective hearing? Ridiculously awkward silence. Don't worry - I'm back to my old nursery crowd today... I'll strike fear in 'em, but no more than the usual amount. Off to work for now... to hopefully have a day that goes crazy fast because it's been so boring there! Actually - it has to be awesome because I've lined up a person to leap past the window and that's always fun. Nofreehomeless here I come.

Mister Giggles

Well - its well past official. Mister Giggles is now a whole decade old!!! 10!!! Crazy! I can't believe that my youngest Lewis nephew is 10. Double digits. 3 years exactly from being a teenager! I'm going to stop thinking that way now. Have to. He's still smallish - he'll always be a 'little' to me - that's just how I think of Sunshine and Mister Giggles... they're the babies - same as I am in my family ;) Anyways - because it's his birthday I may have been making faces at him in Church tonight. That happens okay... had to. After I winked at him at the front he ran up to me and pulled a cinnamon heart out of his pocket and offered me one. Now - cinnamon hearts are pretty much my favourites (along with rockets) - but only if they're the real kind (semi chewy on the inside). Still this was a pocket candy. A scary candy. That belonged to a boy, my nephew, but still full of dirt. A pocket full of sketch. A birthday boy who was sharing. The birthday part got me - I had to set aside my somewhat germaphobic tendencies 1 but I ate it. The first layer was difficult - very difficult - he kept looking back at me just when my expression started to go from smile to fear - I held it together until that layer disappeared. Then, I was able to enjoy my sweet birthday nephew's candy and smile with my own. Happy birthday, Mister Giggles! I love you muchly.

Eclectic

This post's a mix of my day. Got up. Headed to work. Found out it was going to be clumsy day... did so as I jumped out of the car and closed the door on my leg... almost twice. That takes skill... of what kind I know not. A fellow cashier also afeared me with a cart almost hitting me at one point - I was also belly laughed at - literal hand on the belly... that made me laugh... so contagious. Called crazy numerous times, which is actually normal (Bhahahaha). Paging errors - there were many many paging errors. I get in trouble for how I page almost daily... mostly because I'm too quiet and my words run together. Either way - today's failures were key. I was on cash 2 - most people that called me back called cash 3. I know I said 2 - I confirmed it with my customers after several inquiries. One time, I paged 'grocery' and 'produce' called - I tried to tell the produce guy I said grocery, but he didn't believe me... I then doubted myself and re-paged... know what happened then? When I picked up the phone (on the right line, at least) - the grocery guy called me impatient - again, tried to explain... this time it turned into stuttering... I gave up. Later on - scared a kid with a threat of a hug (they looked sick) - they got up and silent walked away. I had to not laugh at Church - that's difficult sometimes! There were some other funny moments too, with the fam... especially of the wrong age/grade variety... hehehe. Also - Sunshine asked me if I just randomly wear my neon work clothes for no reason - I was eating dinner right after work - I don't often reach for my cashier gear, but I have worn the sweater before - comfy - not out out though :P Day done... well... after a little false reality watching of 'The Truman Show'!