Cashier Tales: Of the Concrete Variety

So I was being a crazy person at work today. Once again they put me next to an awesome co-worker of a split superhero/villain nature (her choice not mine - anyone who refers to multiple coats as capes obviously has unique issues). Hilarity ensued. Later on I was bringing through a customer who's total was crazy high - I didn't notice it - they most definitely did. Couldn't figure out where I went wrong - I usually check the produce codes as I put them in. Then I was undone by a great and unexpected source. The bags... the PC points that we have to enter... I never check them because no code is close to it. 53398. It went in as 5398. It went in twice. It went in at 49.99!!! Each!!! As a concrete boot! Why do we have concrete boots in the system? A customer answered that question. It involved mob ties. Day over (say such things dramatically in a mob-ish manner... figure out what that is first... I can't help you with that).

Nursery Mishaps

Since I'm in nursery at Church tonight I finally remembered to write this one down! I was in there awhile ago with none of my 'usuals' collection of people - that always throws me off. I was talking about ways to make a particular kid stop crying. So I'm gesturing to these hanging paper flowers saying 'if you hit them on the head with a paper flower they'll stop'... because they will - you seriously just have to walk them under and you're set. It was one of those pin drop moments - I mean I can be loud (really really loud), but I was being quiet at the time. Everyone heard me, but no one heard the whole paper flower part. Selective hearing? Ridiculously awkward silence. Don't worry - I'm back to my old nursery crowd today... I'll strike fear in 'em, but no more than the usual amount. Off to work for now... to hopefully have a day that goes crazy fast because it's been so boring there! Actually - it has to be awesome because I've lined up a person to leap past the window and that's always fun. Nofreehomeless here I come.

Mister Giggles

Well - its well past official. Mister Giggles is now a whole decade old!!! 10!!! Crazy! I can't believe that my youngest Lewis nephew is 10. Double digits. 3 years exactly from being a teenager! I'm going to stop thinking that way now. Have to. He's still smallish - he'll always be a 'little' to me - that's just how I think of Sunshine and Mister Giggles... they're the babies - same as I am in my family ;) Anyways - because it's his birthday I may have been making faces at him in Church tonight. That happens okay... had to. After I winked at him at the front he ran up to me and pulled a cinnamon heart out of his pocket and offered me one. Now - cinnamon hearts are pretty much my favourites (along with rockets) - but only if they're the real kind (semi chewy on the inside). Still this was a pocket candy. A scary candy. That belonged to a boy, my nephew, but still full of dirt. A pocket full of sketch. A birthday boy who was sharing. The birthday part got me - I had to set aside my somewhat germaphobic tendencies 1 but I ate it. The first layer was difficult - very difficult - he kept looking back at me just when my expression started to go from smile to fear - I held it together until that layer disappeared. Then, I was able to enjoy my sweet birthday nephew's candy and smile with my own. Happy birthday, Mister Giggles! I love you muchly.

Eclectic

This post's a mix of my day. Got up. Headed to work. Found out it was going to be clumsy day... did so as I jumped out of the car and closed the door on my leg... almost twice. That takes skill... of what kind I know not. A fellow cashier also afeared me with a cart almost hitting me at one point - I was also belly laughed at - literal hand on the belly... that made me laugh... so contagious. Called crazy numerous times, which is actually normal (Bhahahaha). Paging errors - there were many many paging errors. I get in trouble for how I page almost daily... mostly because I'm too quiet and my words run together. Either way - today's failures were key. I was on cash 2 - most people that called me back called cash 3. I know I said 2 - I confirmed it with my customers after several inquiries. One time, I paged 'grocery' and 'produce' called - I tried to tell the produce guy I said grocery, but he didn't believe me... I then doubted myself and re-paged... know what happened then? When I picked up the phone (on the right line, at least) - the grocery guy called me impatient - again, tried to explain... this time it turned into stuttering... I gave up. Later on - scared a kid with a threat of a hug (they looked sick) - they got up and silent walked away. I had to not laugh at Church - that's difficult sometimes! There were some other funny moments too, with the fam... especially of the wrong age/grade variety... hehehe. Also - Sunshine asked me if I just randomly wear my neon work clothes for no reason - I was eating dinner right after work - I don't often reach for my cashier gear, but I have worn the sweater before - comfy - not out out though :P Day done... well... after a little false reality watching of 'The Truman Show'!

Laundry Confessions

If you know me at all, or maybe even a little, or have just read enough of these embarrassing confessions, or I have nothing else I just wanted to bother you with a never-ending sentence, or... sucker. Okay - focusing on laundry... wait re-focusing on the general specifics of what you know... adding facts... then you know that I'm both hyper-observant and non-observant, mostly (and confusedly) at the same time. This story is an example of that and it has never been shared before. EVER. See, my parentals old abode never really changed... not in the little things... so my laundry routine was set... like in stone. The laundry detergent, fabric softener, weird dryer sheets, EVERYTHING in the same place. It was perfection (except for outside of the laundry room, because things like keys were always moved... and, even when they weren't, you expected them to be - those are some serious mind blowing skills). Anyways... I never had to think about anything. So... I didn't. I should have. See... my mom ran out of room in the storage thing... so she moved a huge Costco purchase up to the designated laundry shelf... it wasn't laundry related... but it did have a laundry-like picture... and size... I took it as fabric softener. It was Febreze. Can you imagine how bad that must have been on my clothes? I used it for months!!! Maybe more than months! I'm surprised my clothes didn't fall to pieces! Crazy person am I! Story shared it is.

The Perfect Power (literal) Flick

See... I'm a kind of a warnings person - I usually give people 3 before a full response. The response itself can be spontaneous, however, an association (or learning curve moment for me) with Toothbrush determined that a flick to the head with the three warned fingers is quite effective. I used said flick with no warnings at all just yesterday... silly and ridiculous things need no warnings. Kae just needed a flick on the head. I need 'em sometimes. Everybody needs a flick on the head sometimes. Should we make a song about it? No - but there are so many sometimes to sing with... too far. Okay - where was I - flicks all around - only for silly things though - otherwise it'd turn into a V8 type of slap fest (another time I'll have to share a V8 family slap and Nofreehomeless wave story). I went forward to give that delayed flick (with none of this going through my head), then the amazing happened - instead
of just a flick it was a shock. Oh, static electricity shocks, sometimes you have good timing. It was a powered up no warning flick! Awesome! It hurt me too (in that 'as if this hurts' kind of way), but I think it was worth in, for the sake of consistency. The real question is how to be consistent when there's now an unexpected static shock in the mix , I mean, how can I contain electricity... I'm forgoing it now. 'Tis done.

Phone Fear.

While my sister usually ridiculously busy sister Nenners has been away relaxing and enjoying beautiful Florida, I've been calling Mr. Si, Sunshine, and Mister Giggles at 8:10 each morning to make sure they get off alright to school. Timing is everything. I've been a sickie recently and during the middle of the night I managed to lose my voice pretty much completely. This morning I had just enough juice left to make the call. Sunshine answered it by saying good morning to me by name - its become a routine. I opened my mouth and a frog voice spoke back. It startled her. It startled me too. She managed to recover quite well for thinking some strange person was on the line, all the while, I was just trying to say it was me. Yikes. Awkward phone moments are the worst! After a ridiculously hot shower I regained my voice for like two hours, but alas, it has gone again, and thus left me with only my written one - which is fading from lack of sleep right now. Off to regain both now :P