Swimming. Canadian.

Cold. It was so cold!!! One day I braved the waters on my own. The kids were absorbed in a flick and didn't even see me leave (Mr. Si said he would have come). Nenners was uncertain of my success... so was I. As I walked down to the dock, the leaves were falling around me. It's fall - unofficially, but still! Not here in Kingston, but there in Quebec - yes yes. As soon as they fall, I'll stick to that fact - even on this warm day, I'll hope for cooler days! I finally made it to the dock - even colder. I decided to take a seat and give myself a moment to take it in. The chair was freezing. That's when I really started to doubt myself, but stubbornness won out. I jumped it. Then I got out quick. Repeated that a dozen times to acclimate myself. In my 'get out of the water fast' move, I hit the same bit of my knee a dozen times. Such a funny scar. Then I jumped in so far that I accidently went under DEEP and did an unintentional backwards somersault. Came up screaming for air and struggling for warmth. My day, documented for proof.

 Mr. Si and I braved another cold day together. We each jumped in 16/17 times (former: me; latter: him) to warm up. Tired out. Jumped in alternating alphabet letters - so much fun... 'cept poor Mr. Si got all the bad letters because I started it up. New tradition made though.

Also, in the past few days: new 'props' with Sunshine, a walk with Mister Giggles, new co-worker in Nieceamine (Congrats), and new obsessively awesome show - I'm now hooked on 'Phineas and Ferb'!

Mister Giggles vs Cigarettes

So... we're on the road back to Kingston! There's been a lot of road work being done near the cottage, so we waited for a bit. Anyways, a road was being paved and it was smelly! The kids all started talking about the stink and then about cigarettes - about the components in them - how they share similarities with tar, nail polish remover, and rat poisoning. Education system kicks in. Then Mister Giggles says, 'Why would rats smoke cigarettes?!?' I love him.

My Mom vs The FAKE Gecko.

Yesterday Sunshine and a bud pretended to go and catch a large toy lizard outside, then brought it back in the house to give Nenners a bit of a fright. I had a hilarious memory moment. I think it was Grade 11. My friend's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend had a course in University that had studied a Gecko. This Gecko wasn't just an ordinary Gecko, it was rare and expensive and just plain awesome. They were trying to find it a home before the course wrapped. I desperately wanted that Gecko. I'd never had a pet before and I tried hard to change that. I hit the wall that was my parents for days. I'm good with words, I used them non-stop, but nothing changed. I had to say no. It was a sad day. My friend's, well aware of my petless existence, tried to cheer me up. I went to school the next day and 'Th' and 'Ineb' handed me a paper bag... I wish I still had it - it's by far the best paper bag in the world... it said 'Lisa's Gecko' on it and was decorated all cute. Inside was a gummy lizard! The best of two worlds! It was the last possible day before the Gecko opportunity was forever gone, so when I got back home I thought I'd try one last time. I accosted my Mom in her bedroom. I reasoned and when it failed I begged. Then, I remembered my new evidence... the paper bag! I came into her room saying 'Mom it's much smaller than this when its real'. Okay... my Mom had glasses then... for good reasons... but I'm telling you she read that bag, with no glasses on, from far enough away that she could ace any eye doctor's chart! She must have read it before I even started talking because she started panicking before listening. I did not think of what she would think about the contents of that, the infamous, paper bag. She flipped out... completely!!! Here's the thing, my parents don't move all that quick. I've never really seen them run excepting my My Mom on the treadmill, my Dad carrying me to a Lifeguard Station (stupid Jellyfish), and this one time when they were late for their plane (so funny... I'll tell that one another time). See, it was so unexpected, that I too freaked out a little... in fact I went a little speechless. My Mom saw the bag that day and moved quicker than I've seen anyone move before. She was up on top of her bed in one jump (and that thing is so high up that it took her three jumps to get in every night before they found a two step stool!!!) - screaming the entire time! It was so quick it took me a moment. Then I started trying to be heard. Yelling 'It's fake!' No listen. Then, I did something stupid, I tried to show her it was fake, so I opened the bag... I really didn't think she could scream louder than she already was... another mistake of mine. Finally I just ran out of the room. She was still screaming when I got back, sans bag. Then, after awhile, she calmed down enough to hear me... and I stopped laughing long enough to speak. I wouldn't have actually done something like that (except I had at age 5 with my third cousin's pet... and pretty much all of my sister's had done something like it), so she took it pretty well. I didn't even get in trouble or suffer a parental weather change (no cold snap... not even a light chill). All around good day. Sweet from the friends, entertaining from the Mom. Good times.

For Seb...

Alright... I'm tired in this... obviously. Seb!!! Since our iPhones work awesomely in their separate existences, but frustratingly and somewhat hilariously don't interact well (I really don't understand our receiving sound from each other issues, when pretty much everything else goes all proper-like), this is the only way (short of teleporting [yep... I went there])- that I could send you this message. Other possible people... well... sorry... you just got a glimpse of an older Lisa. Seb... I love your frog and bat puppies (Chihuahua's) and I hope Milly gets ALL better soon!

200th Post! Store Dancing...

... is fun... especially when one person doesn't want to store dance. We embarrassed Nenners right and good. I got an awesome video... but I actually didn't... I did what Nieceamine always teases me about and didn't hit the record button squarely on... that's the thing about touchscreens. Nenners did a shoulder dance though... again... missed it. It's a sad day for funny videos everywhere...

Giggles.

Had a busy but special day with 6 of my 7 nieces and nephews. Was pushed in by 5 of 'em (minus 2 eldest and 1 youngest)- fun times. Don't have those pics - they're Nenners's, but there was a lot of giggling, and hilariously enough, emphatic hand flapping by Nougat and Lee Jr. - like it was too much that they had to shake it off. Here are my hilarious pics... had some by Lee Jr., but saved you the blurry ;)

Nenners vs The Boat Cover

K - even though it's been cold lately the kids braved the waters today. To have a sitting area for non-swimmers (such as Nenners herself)- Mr. Si took a partial bit of the boat cover off. Sadly we forgot about it until after dark. Nenners went down to close it up. With a little floodlight, but mostly darkness. No stars (this whole trip...sucky). A bat was underneath it!!! Gross! It went right by her ear!!! I would have screamed my head off. Nieceamine texted that she would have cried. Nenners, though scared, continued on bravely. Good on you Nenners - proud of you am I (hehehe... Yodaness)!

Post Script Laugh
In writing this (on my handy dandy iPhone 'Voyager'), it auto-corrected Nenners to... wait for it... 'Ne Nerd'... Whahahaha! Love ya Ne Nerd!

Aghhhh! I was just called...

Sunshine's GRANDMA!!! Sick!!! I'm 24!!! Only. Only 24! I need to rethink my look or something - first I was called 38 by Amanina and now a randomish 8/9 year old calls me a Grandma!!! Oh dear, something's gotta change!

Me vs Water... of the swimming variety...

I failed all of my swimming classes as a kid. I would stubbornly refuse to dive. Just flat out refused... I'm sometimes surprised I made it through my childhood... I was just a brat to deal with... still am in many ways :P As for water though, I have to plug my nose. Just think of the consistent threads of my stories - I have problems staying focused or I get too focused and forget everything else. I always, like always, forget to breathe out of my nose. I end up sputtering out of the water. I wear snorkeling goggles... like for seriously... in combo with flippers (I never use the actual snorkel... I'm weird okay...) - to swim for fun. That's the great thing about lake swimming - you can't clearly see how completely weird I swim... most of it is safely under the surface. Anyways... Mr. Si had me sputtering a few days ago. We jumped in Ninja flipper fighting with our feet, but holding hands to not actually hit each other - distance is a key factor - the problem: right before we leaped in he handed me a noodle... I had no free hand! I hate that. Ah well, this is what I always look like in water... so here's me as a little kid... making the expression I still struggle against...

... I would say 'How could someone have stopped to take a picture when I'm obviously almost drowning?', but, sadly, that would be a lie. I look('ed'... I wish I could add the 'ed') like this after every jump. Worse still, I looked like that after being baptized... and there was a camera with that one... yuck. See, people, I share my embarrassing things too ;D

Miswordings: Me vs The Whole French Language!

French faux pas... That's a phrase right? Whahaha...

Okay, as a kid I was okay in French. I sang the athem, I played those class games, and could passably speak. Then, something happened - I moved to New Zealand. See, there isn't a dominant second official language - there are a few that run pretty close together in the running. The winner though: Japanese. Yep - it's true - that was what they taught me at good old stuffy and sometimes scary 'Chilton St. James' private school! It totally and completely messed up my pre-existing French skills. Then, I returned to Canada and couldn't pick French back up. Then, to make matters worse I also lost my Japanese skills. Sad. Never caught up. Took what I needed to graduate - then kicked all different language goals to the curb. Anyways... on to the present day funnies...

We went shopping today. Put a little more space between us and the cold cold waters of the lake. In Aldo, we were browsing through shoes, when Nenners turned to the 'Solde' section - I turned to her and said... "Oh, those ones have already been sold"... I knew as soon as the words starting leaving my mouth that they were on sale NOT sold. I just couldn't stop it quick enough. Total Blonde moment! Gave Nenners a good laugh though :P

Nenners vs The Blinds.

Part of closing up the cottage. This happens to Nenners every night:

Sunshine on a Rainy Day.

Cottage hair. If only mine was short enough to do this:

'We' vs Star Trek

Alright. At Church a few weeks ago, I was right behind 'We'. Usually I do a 'We' hand signal spelling out 'Weirdy' (w & e, not whatever) to her like - it looks like this:

This time though, she tried to make a signal to me. It looked like this:

Hilarious. I told her it was from 'Star Trek'. She immediately asked if it was a swear word - no way! As Mr. Si responded to this story - 'It's exactly the opposite'. I told her it means 'Live long and prosper'. She said of course I knew that. I am quite a dork, but I don't know that it's written entirely over my face... but maybe it is. Funny. I leave you with Spock:

Mr. Si vs The Early 90's

Still watching 'Saved by the Bell' - Zach just asked Kelly to go steady. Big deal. Mr. Si just asked why they were getting married when they were in grade 10. Funny times.

Miswordings

Nieceamine: Look Aunt Lisa, I'm flamboyant!
... hehehehe...
Nenners: I think you mean buoyant
Nieceamine: Right.

So funny.

Later (watching 'Saved by the Bell') - Nieceamine points to Kelly and says 'You broke my man's (Zach, of course) heart'. Mister Giggles pipes in saying,'No, I didn't!' - then he blamed Mr. Si.

... Talk about not paying attention.

We're hooked on this show... it's so weird... I remember every episode (I watched 2 every morning through my school years), but in no order... which is funny because the DVD episodes are apparently ordered in a random mode!!!

It's true...

... I'm off of sugar! I've been off it for a few days, but made an exception of today - since I was in town and Birthday partying it up... refrained from buying sugar and instead got baked snacks and the likes of such things for the rest of my cottage time. Off sugar and friedness. Scary thought I know, but this video is why... today my cousin 'Who' wouldn't even sugar dance with me. She was hyper too though... maybe just not as much. I was even specifically hitting the ceiling purposefully for funny times. Oh dear, she also told me that she could successfully speak when she wasn't around me - apparently the flib/flub tendency strengthens in numbers... and with family. I went around Giant Tiger with a Southern accent - soooo much fun. I understand her camera shyedness... yes, it does sound more awesome like that... I just don't share it... obviously... maybe too obviously...

Nieceamine vs Ray's Reptiles

Had to put this one up. Okay, we were all far away from the reptiles.

Nieceamine (looking at one of the lizards): What is that?
Me: A dinosaur.
Nieceamine: Cool. Oh, it's gross.

... so funny. It lasted only a moment, but it was awesome.

EVEN FUNNIER... The REAL type of the lizard it was: a skank! Oh dear, we laughed at that!

Miswordings: Nieceamine vs Mr. Si

Distance was a factor:

Nieceamine asks about crusaders...
Mr. Si: They killed whole races of people...
Nieceamine: They killed racist people?
Nenners: Mr. Si said whole races of people
Nieceamine: No, I said racist people... oh, you meant Mr. Si...

... sometimes I see that word scene from 'Facing the Giants' in my head (you know the cheese, and such, big future opportunity reveal) with these goofy ones. Funny times.

Sunshine Sleepiness.

Alright. Sharing a room with Sunshine. She's a talker, but hilariously last night she sang the word 'Ripcurl'! She's planning to be like Timmy Hamilton from 'Soul Surfer' - she wants to Boogie Board the big waves! She's a cutie!

Girls Just Want to Have Fun...

... too bad for the boys... Mister Giggles in particular (though Mr. Si didn't get away totally free either, but is a teenager, and therefore exempt from some pics - they're good boys!)...

At the capable hands of Toothbrush and Sunshine...

... one boy is transformed. 

Makes for some fun times though. Later on Nenners, Toothbrush, Mr. Si, and I watched one of my all time favourites 'Walk, don't Run' - they loved it! I'm awesome... except that I had just movie failed them big with 'Always Will' - which I still carry a soft spot for!

Cottage: The Weird Chronicles

Well - couldn't help but look around at the ridiculous amount of weird things that live their inanimate lives out at our family cottage. My parents other residences are void of all of oddities, so the cottage is the dropping zone! I''m scared. You may be too.

Pigs flying? No no, swimming.

There's a flying cow hidden above the rafters.

A weird sparkly bird - which is setting a trend of facing the wall.

I actually like this wood carving, minus the triangle breastage.

Orange juice stain coming down to the main level. Mad big spill from like 11 years ago -   I'm clumsy.

Shiny fish. Always on a wall - I'm just fortunate - my family used to eat fish jelly :P

Again, love this. My Papa had a grocery store! Unfortunately it never held cookies. Here it is full of prescriptions... waste of awesomeness.

Words fail me.

Spices - some of which are decades and decades old!

More baskets than anyone could possibly use.

Random.

Nenners's favourite - quiltedness.

The Jukebox we can't use!

Why - seriously - why?

Because it just doesn't match.

Ew. Real fish - again facing the wall.

Real Gator, holding a bug zapper.

Real real real. Real grossness. Hilarious though - my Dad originally put them eye level in the bathroom  (like they could come up and bit you) - the kids were too scared though!

Owl - facing pretty much the wall again.

2 sets of antlers - 1 of which is glow in the dark!

Weird little fox on glass.

I would never want to use a face mug... disturbing.

The Canada Day boat race trophy - I don't know why its in a skirt.

The cottage rules - follow them or get booted out

Creppy. Seb disliked it so much that years ago, when they first got it , I put in under her sheets. Hehehehe!

SeptoBac - right between the crackers and the cereal - we're very very careful of what we eat up here, this (and expiry dates) is why!!!

HaPpY bIrThDaY nIeCeAmInE!!! (; (lefty for you)

Hey You! Funny one... listen up... ready... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Look, you're one of the funniest people I know! It's always been that way...

We were laughing from the start!

Oh dear, the funnies, oh the funnies!

 I love ya, Nieceamine! Have a great Birthday!!!

Hey... remember the epic Mexi's trip? The iPhone flying? The 'You Again' trip? The cinnamon jawbreaker issues? You were right - you are on this blog a lot... out of awesomeness!!!

I've going to have to chronicle that famous bank trip... you know... when we scared all the tellers... I'll have to get the pics from you... then... THEN... we'll have to do it again some time... well, who am I kidding... it'll be every time... for the sake of humour... Canadian spelled humour... whahaha... you can't spellcheck me down, blog... not this time... not on a day such as this... bye... for non seriousness, but actually for reals (are you proud? ... even though I just winced, I still wrote that for your amusement).