I live for God. I laugh for Him too. Find steadfast joy in Him.
Psalms 126:1-3
"When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, 'The LORD has done great things for them.' The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."
--> We have found freedom in God as well. We can live out the joy depicted in this verse!
We are 'Masters of Disguise'. Or we will be after we finish the flick! Fruitopia and microwave popcorn (kidlet requested) will be consumed.
'I want to be a Master of Disguise. I want to be a Master of Disguise. I want to be--' --> Slapped in the face by his grandpa!
Whahaha!
Soap opera music. Open handed slap dignity. Just a few things to remember while developing our awesomeness. Um... you should probably do so also. Come on! You read this - you've already got a jump start. Keep it up!
A cat. It was a cat. Don't get too scared. It is scary though. Especially when you're 6 and have never been around any animals before. So. I was staying with Nenners and Waywin. Their spare room was Mika's room. She was not pleased with me. We closed the door so she wouldn't come in. She scratched until Nenners let her back in. Then she disappeared.
I tried to sleep, then there was this sound. It was horrible. It was scary. It was coming from underneath the bed! I was sitting bolt upright trying to gather myself enough courage to look. I finally did. I started to lean down. The sound stopped. I looked into yellow eyes. Ahhh! I was back on top quite quickly.
Then, once again with the sound. This time I could see over the edge. There were sparks. Seriously, sparks. I was sleepy, but I was also determined. I looked. I saw. She was upside down. She was running UPSIDE DOWN along the bed frame. Sparks were flying from cat claw and bed frame friction. So much worse than I'd imagined. I stayed awake until she'd tired herself out.
Thinking back on this, I believe there might have been a further reason for the cat being let into the room. I was quite the demanding child, ridiculously cute, but basically an all out brat. I woke them up at like 5 every time I slept over so that they could make me porridge for breakfast. 'PORRIDGE'. I then woke them up like 15 minutes later for my second bowl. I was a hungry morning person. Maybe they were trying to get me to sleep in just a bit. Maybe not. Either way, a question to ponder.
In his defense, it was upside down reading. He came in, started fidgeting, then looking at everything. Finally, looking at a DVD, he says, "What's Kate & Leopard?". 'Kate and Leopold' our second movie choice. Kate & Leopard would definitely fit into a different different category. Romantic comedy - not so much - I couldn't even place that one. Would it be like 'King Kong' which I hate, or like 'E.T.' which I love? Hmmm... movie pondering...
... Toothbrush is currently asking a million questions about it. I will not answer. I will not tell her the end. For once.
Sunshine! She came down to say goodnight about 40 minutes ago. Like a full goodnight. She just came down to do so again. She didn't believe us at first. Then she said "V8 moment" and slapped herself on the head. Then she proceeded upstairs saying "Goodbye" instead of goodnight. Oh, Sunshine. She's just getting into summer mode a day early.
I love funny voices. Random conversations in funny voices are my favourite. Toothbrush is cool with them. Right now Sunshine, Toothbrush, and I are watching 'Smile' - it's one of my all time favourites, but it's a difficult one to watch, which is why I now put up this bit of random. For hilarity's sake. Now the boys have joined us. They're all going to love it - it's the best. For serious.
Note the hilarity that is us speaking out of time with our facial movements - hehehe - like we've been dubbed! That is the awesomeness that occurs when you speak from the throat; It's also why I for seriously had my own language as a kid.
It's more than halfway to Christmas!!! We've made it through the hardest part. 180 days left. Today, I bothered everybody I met with this knowledge! They were not appreciative. In fact, I once again was threatened with things possibly being thrown at me. How could someone want to throw something at me? I'm awesome. Sad. These people. Crazy people. And they call me crazy? They threaten! Plus, they've actually thrown before. Then even my friend base of cashiers turned on me: "We still love you" said they, "but you're a freak". Harsh. Just because they like Summer. Why don't people like looking forward to things anymore? I'm not trying to skip to Christmas. I'm just enjoying the wait. I'm a pretty patient person. Except maybe about the humidity - that can just go away now... forever. Other than that though (look at me, assuming that you'll agree - at least you can know that I assuredly won't harm you verbally, emotionally, or physically if you don't), you can enjoy the wait too!
180 DAYS!!!
P.S.
One fellow cashier was excited by my Christmas announcement. I gave her actual props, and now, a written one as well.
So. I was working on the express cash awhile ago. Cash 12. I hate it. I hate that I have to turn people away when they have too many items. I hate just standing around when people are waiting to be brought through. Yucky. I also hate that it's the return cash. I get in trouble for paging quietly all the time. Sometimes though, sometimes awesomely hilarious things happen. This one day, a middle-aged man came up to my cash. He said he had to return these garbage bags. He was obviously not a return guy. He was so apologetic. He said they were sized really weird. They were way too short. Having made garbage mistakes myself, I asked if he minded me taking them out (I wanted to save the Supes some time). I then did so. I unfolded the bag fully. He went purple. I tried to tell him I'd done the same thing before. He wouldn't listen. He said sorry and then... AND THEN... he ran away! Like hilariously. He hilariously ran away, purple with mortification. Oh, Cash 12, that was a good day.
These things don't get along too well. I seriously don't understand why they were put up on the belt together. Be observant. I shouldn't say that to anyone. Be a little observant (variation - one that doesn't hurt my conscience). I've had leaking milk bags before - I usually just check before bringing them through - it's not a difficult task. This time though, no such need. Staff stuck milk. Milk sprayed everywhere! Customer asked for paper towels. Silly person. You have to stop the bag first, or you'll be cleaning the entire contents of the bag. I had to grab for it. It was so funny. That made for a desperate dairy call over the announcement system. They came quickly though. Further funny times at No Frills.
Sunshine: "What type of Church is that? Pedestrian?"
Nenners: "It's called a Presbyterian Church. Pedestrian is a walker."
Sunshine: "What's the difference? It's all about walking in faith."
... Smarty pants. You see into things well. Way to cut to the quick of the matter, Sunshine.
Sometimes there aren't always second chances and we need to be awesome in the first opportunity. With people, with attitudes, and most importantly, with God. We've been given the opportunity to live for God - what an amazing thing to do so in His timing! I wouldn't want to not be let in. I don't want to be a n00b Christian. Working for more!
Okay. This one is completely unintentional. For serious. When Seb moved back in, her place at the table was in front of the window, as it always has been. I've mentioned before and I'll mention it again, I'm not a talker at the family dinner table. I always let my imagination run free, or think about various things. I always do this facing a window. Apparently, it always looks like I'm staring either at, through, or past her. All of which scare her. I get that. I did this every single meal. I drove her nuts. She would try to do it to me, I wouldn't notice. Hahaha. Sometimes being an annoying little sister is fun. Especially in unintentional situations, because I don't have to put any effort into it!
So. I have this fade-out tendency. When I just want to stop talking sometimes I just get quieter and quieter until I stop mid-sentence. It drives my family crazy! But, if I decide half-way through a story that it's not really worth telling, then I don't want to finish it. Also, sometimes if I start thinking about something else it just happens. Sometimes intentional, sometimes unintentional. Either way, they look at me with daggers in their eyes. It's funny what family won't let you get away with. My high school friends just adapted and moved on to something else. My family, they just startle me with a loud "WELL. What's next?".
Me: "Here's some money. You got me burgers and guys, remember?"
... Nenners starts losing it...
I meant to say that she got me 'Five Guys, Burgers and Fries'. It was about a restaurant, not about crazy matchmaking. She thankfully refrains from that. Oh dear, the word flubs that come out of this mouth of mine.
The kids were singing a Michael Jackson song. It was totally my fault :( We were in the car and Nenners started talking about what not to sing. She told the kids if they sang the song again she'd start saying 'sex' out loud, even while in public, because that's what the song was about. They quieted quickly. Then Sunshine said "Yeah Mom, you may as well go around yelling 'Gender, gender'. That'd stop them!". I laughed so hard. Can you imagine someone, Nenners even, running around saying "Gender, gender!"? So funny.
We were all in the car, when Mister Giggles saw something. He said "Awwww. Something cute". We had no idea what he was talking about. We asked. He wouldn't say. He's got observation skills, but sometimes he ends up lacking in the communication skills. Funny kid.
They freak me out, but I love them. I had no idea what to expect from them though. A school trip to Canada's Wonderland gave me my first crazy experience on them. We went as a science class (random). I was with LG and J-D. Anyways, they knew I'd never been on a rollercoaster before. J-D told me he remembered an easy no-loop one that we could start with. We jumped in line, but you couldn't see the coaster at all. It starts going. All of a sudden, J-D swears beside me. He didn't swear often. Struck now with fear, I slowly turned to look at him. He had this super serious grave look on his face (which in itself was scary, he wasn't a really serious guy). All he could say was "I'm so sorry. You should close your eyes". I think the way he delivered that line was scarier than the coaster itself. Close my eyes! No way! I need to see what's happening! I screamed. A lot. It was so much fun though.
Next, we took on them all. We left 'The Bat' until the end though. It's definitely the scariest one I've been on - I didn't handle going backwards that well. I started freaking out in line. The ride is right overhead, and wow, that certainly adds a lot to the fear build-up. I just kept saying "Guys, I'm gonna scream. I'm gonna scream the whole time. I don't know if I can do this one". LG said I'd be fine. I didn't believe her. The other people, total strangers, in line - before us and behind also chimed in. They all just kept saying "You won't scream the whole time. It'll be fun!" - silly expert riders, who'd been on 'The Bat' tons. I screamed the whole time. Actually, I girly shrieked the whole time. Non-stop. I had no idea I had such great lung capacity. I do now. The best part was the people around me. On every other ride I'd screamed, but also just said - "I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die". 'The Bat' was different. I said that when it started and then had no words at all. I was the ONLY PERSON on the whole, JAM-PACKED ride who was screaming. Everyone else: LAUGHING at my terror. For serious. Apparently I serve an entertainment purpose. Fun times though!
I was sitting down on the curb, invading a fam, to eat bbqness with them. Notsoninja was explaining my oddities to passerbys. I was denying such things jokingly. Notsoninja was trying to explain my days (explanation at bottom). She was kind of failing - they're hard to explain. She then flipped to a story about me standing up when she asked me to stand up - fail... that doesn't sound funny even though it was. She flipped back to my days and got them across with examples (she had help this time, her girls threw me under a bus... I hate buses), passerby was not impressed. Then, passerby found out that I did these things in public, she exclaimed, "She does that with real people!"
... Whahaha! Fake people! If they could exist, then apparently church people are fake people! I knew what she meant - about being silly around people who don't know me - but choose to rest in the hilarity instead.
My Days:
My days are awesome. They are the best things to do. My sister thought I was crazy with them, mostly because no one that I interacted with knew about them. Poor, unsuspecting strangers. Now at least I tell my fellow cashiers and church-goers. On days when I work, or sometimes when I just feel like it, I pick a theme for the day. My standard ones include: long pause (between words - so funny), dramatic turn (do it - especially when you're right in front of a person), awkward wave (I always do this one - but my most awkward is the quick arm up, then down - so hilarious, however, my full out excited wave is my favourite!), jump into aisles like a superhero (I did this to my sister, then circled the entire store - hehehe - confusion), slow motion (in actions), game show host voice day, slow motion (in talking - further story to come), funny voice day, 'jump back' day (say it or dramatically action it --> you're doubly awesome if you do both at the same time), and then just general accents. There are many others. They're spur of the moment though. If I decide to go off a day, then I use my tone-deaf voice to sing instead. It's a part of choosing joy.
Shout-out to 'bt' because she has done some these --> hehehe... sometimes I pretend not to notice... it frustrates her greatly. I always do notice though. Plus, she has stories to trade, accents to share, and a fear of using a funny voice to conquer (I refuse to accept a 'no skill' excuse for this one, or a 'no funnies' excuse to sharing stories - we established a trade and you got my milk story before the rest of Ktown)!
Pick some of these days up readers and have fun with them, then tell the stories that come back from them (there will be lots, oh, the number of times I've been asked if I was crazy... whahaha... I'm okay with that). It'll be worth the effort.
So. Nenners made the best pizza in the entire world last night. I've had pizza so many times and in so many different countries, but hers kicked everywhere and everyone else's butts. Like clear out of the park. Homemade stuffed crust pepperoni, spinach, and maple bacon pizza with fresh basil on top. Seriously amazing. Also seriously funny. She was rolling the cheese sticks into the crust. She didn't know if she had enough for more than half of the pizza pie. I told her to cut them in half. She said they would still only make it halfway. If they were cut horizontly, then yes, that would be true. I meant vertically though. Funny times. She got it quick. Also, perfect amount. Go go Nenners! I will now like no other pizza.
Whoa. Warning: amazing pizza alert.
Skillful one.
She was just so excited. With cause.
The best slices of pizza I've had in my lifetime... and I'm an expert!
Notsoninja
I was working with Sunshine, when Notsoninja came into the room. She was asking for paper towels. I told her she would have to fight for them. She put up her fisticuffs. I showed her how things really work - "the truth is really in the sound" said I. She made one. It sounded like a dying animal. It's why she became Notsoninja. She took the towels and ran. The next day though, I said hi (with no fighting threat in my tone or body language), and she responded already in fighting form. She hit me with the sound again. I fell back onto the chairs laughing. She said there was just something about me that she had to defend against. Sad. I've gotten that before. I've attacked few, if any, of them. But, I do go for the annoying sometimes. Hmmm. I will think it over and change if I must :P
... don't worry about Notsoninja's skills. I gave her spy glasses with mirrors in them. She's ready to face the world in all but sound. That, I can't fix.
Orl 'Open-mouthed Real Laughter'
This was a sound issue that I could fix. I switched rooms. I left my iPhone and its music for the others in the Nursery. I went to what I can only call the 'DEADLY QUIET' room. There were 4 of us in there. One was on the phone continuously for an hour (awkward... I don't like that). They left. Then, there were 3. This was where it got scary. I mean seriously, it had been hours. I'd been trying to think of a conversation to start. Finally, I started questioning the amount of dirt on the chairs aloud. Orl responded. A person! Anyways, we started chatting it up and eventually landed on the topic of laughter. I started funny laughing. She started evil laughing. She did so with her mouth closed. She got an extraordinary amount of sound out though. Still, I told her to open her mouth the next time. She did. It was epic. I liked it. People came and went from the room, but we had our entertainment.
I was 11/12. I was taking skiing lessons. I was taking them with a boy I had a crush on. Awkward. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. Obviously. I totally sat down before the lift arrived. Like, right before. As such, my ski got caught on the lift as it passed over me. I was totally dragged along the ground for like 5 feet. It was so embarrassing. It was so ridiculously funny. At least I could see the humour of it in the moment, otherwise I think I would've been scarred for life. I'm crying even now. Hahaha. Wow. Epic. Oh, the building of an awkward person starts young. It brings about many stories to share though.
So. I was being awesome. I was equipped with sparklers. I had talked to 'we' throughout the night, and had come to the conclusion that I should probably make her a buddy. Especially since she's already seen me at my worst - oh 'Soul Surfer' - I absolutely lost it during that movie (another time). Anyways, we had a sparkler fight (dangerous, don't try it). Hers went nuts and started sparking like crazy. Then she said, "I almost got a weirdy in your eye". What? She makes up words and also adapts some existing ones, I do that too, but she uses them as substitutes. It was hilarious. She offered the word to me. I now associate it with her, but have problems saying it. I can't without laughing. I tried just calling her 'weirdy', and I did successfully manage it a couple times, but I'm unable to keep it up. I'm going to go with 'we' (like w.e. - weird-e - too bothersome adding the .'s) instead of 'weirdy'. You're awesome. Enjoy that.
So, I was chatting it up with Pal and we headed into education waters. She had mentioned (unknowingly) that the degree I have is pretty much pointless. It is. I agree. I laughed and told her it was my degree. She paled. She froze. She was hilarious. I told her it was cool. I laughed again. Then, she started laughing. It wasn't normal laughing though, it was panic laughing. She had crazy eyes and the laughter wasn't coming to an end. So funny. I tried to calm her down. She said she didn't know what to do. That made it so much more funny. Oh dear, the hilarity. Except for enjoying some high school classes, I don't really put that much stock in what I learned in my education career. I get if you're going into a specific and specialized career, but I wasn't. Ah well, funny funny times. Good on you Pal. That was awesome.
So. My two blogs are finally standing side by side. I've been adding to this one for the past two months, but I've still got a couple hundred before I catch up. I'm 24 okay? That means a lot of stories and a lot of updates for you. Sorry, but I like funny. This is my funny blog. Bits & Pieces is my heart. Both make up the Lisa that is me. Both of them work together, have been doing so throughout the course of my life, and now they're available publicly for me and for you. That said, I call out readers often. I expect comments, people. I expect funny stories. I get not always speaking on my heart blog, but laughter has to be shared. Seriously. I'm talking to my family here too. No more of this read everything, verbally add to it, and move on without written additions. You know that I'm talking to you (all of you...). This blog is not in order, as such, I expect comments on older (that are sometimes newer) posts. Yep. I'm establishing a trade system. It's only fair. Suckers. I'm going to make you work. Today, many embarrassing stories of mine were read. I think you should share some, or I'll do it for you (empty threat). Thanks for reading!
I never went to summer school. Each summer I was kidnapped by my parents and brought to our cottage, which was beautiful, but a place of social isolation. I always had a best bud come up to visit for a week, but then it was me and me alone, until the family came up for a little bit. We came back like once a week to do laundry and switch my Rogers Video '7 movies for 7 days'. Yes, that did add to my movie fanatic existence, though I've had it in me since I was a mere baby, I blame Inspector Gadget and Fraggle Rock and Little House on the Prairie (which I also lovingly blame for making me into a ridiculous sap). It was July. We were back for a night. I woke up thinking it was still the school year. Actually, I woke up panicked because I thought I had an exam. I jumped into my uniform, brushed my teeth and ran downstairs. I couldn't find my bag. I was losing it. My Mom was standing in the middle of the kitchen, probably shocked to a standstill by my epic loud running, (more like flying... I think I used 2 steps), by my early appearance and, of course, by my uniform. Then she laughed and said, "It's July. You're still asleep! Go back to bed". See, no summer school for me.
When I really talk, I talk fast. I had speech issues as a child. I try to get through words quickly. My thoughts are always a million miles past my verbal abilities, so I find it hard to slow down and to fix my mistakes. Also, sometimes I just get excited about things. That’s when the words start combining. It happens to me a lot. My poor customers can never understand me. Walmart was worse though, because I was so shy. I write the exact same way I talk; Small, scribbled, and with all of the words running together. Nenners calls it my ‘take over the world’ writing. Like I’m bits of ‘Pinky and the Brain’.
I have this collection of interpretors in my life though. These people often know what I mean, but sometimes they’re not with me and sometimes they haven’t been around me in awhile, then they get rusty. The Lisa-understanding comes back quickly though. It’s like riding a bike. I backgrounded you all up to share about a being educated person and a rusted learner who were lost within a week or two of each other. That’s what made me share and made me try to slow down my speaking. It didn’t work. It didn’t work for writing either. Obviously.
Anyways, I was talking to Limabean. Had been for awhile. Then she grabbed my arm to halt me. She couldn’t understand me at all. Sad. She said she talks fast, but still couldn’t understand me (I was word combining). I told her to smarten up (jokingly, she’s too smart already), and to separate my words in her head. At one point, like the next day, it happened again. Then she said something funny. She said she was trying to separate my words before I said them. Hehehe. Hehehehe. I love her. I told her she was good if she could manage that. Spearmint can – she can hear me laughing through texts (skill). Oh, Limabean. I can’t talk slow to you ever, but it makes for many stories. She once questioned my miswording abilities. While saying something she had said, she misheard me. So funny. Then she jumped on an idea, a valid logic one, one that I’d never heard from anyone before (and that’s unusual). She said she thought I mumbled (which I think encompasses talking quietly and fast and altogether) so that I would be misheard and could then put people and their reactions in my ‘funny book’. She said all of this in a hilarious and accusing manner. I don’t do that, but the comment made me think about it. I have enough troubles communicating without adding to my ‘skills’ though. You’ll get better, Limabean. I apparently can’t change this about myself (I’ve tried for my whole lifetime), so the responsibility is on my hearers. Adapt or get conversation lost easily. I’ll love everyone anyways. That advice goes to you too, my readers.
My rusted up person was Tate. While visiting I would continually get excited about things. My words did too. Many actual mistakes happened (they’ve been written down somewhere and will be going up), but many regular sentences suffered too. I’m also worse on the phone, so it didn’t fully hit until the last day of my visit. I was on the phone and chatting it up. I give people time - have to or I’d never stop. In her minute (it’s not actually timed, don’t worry, I’m not crazy in that way [note: I didn’t say ‘I’m not that crazy’ – honesty]) she repeated what I said while word-splitting it. See, it’s a valid learning tool. I apologized for my quick-speak. She laughed and said she always forgets that she needs to word-split, but that she gets used to it, she just needed some out loud time. Good sister. I miss her and Seb and ‘who’ something fierce for just them and also for their expert Lisa-understandings.
On 'The Sound of Music' returning for a night in the Theatre:
"Maybe it's a singing long"
... Sing-a-long... it would be a long sing-a-long though, I'll give her that.
Nenners (exasperated): "Why do I always lose my phone in this purse?"
Me: "Because it's in your hand..."
I tease people, okay? By now, you should know this. Some people in my life, and at my church, aren't aware of it. Silly people. Anyways, one day The Kag went through my cash. I started teasing immediately... why waste time and words? She stopped me and asked me to be careful with her tortilla chips. She explained how she turns the bag upside down to make sure that there aren't too many crumbs. This is where the waters get dicey. I said, "That's what all smart people do". She took offense. She asked me why I'm always mean to her. I told her what was what - I had just lumped her into a smart category, so I told her to back off. Then, responding to further accusations of meanness (that exist from teasing, not mean tendencies), I told her I was nice. I also told her my big sister would back me up. Then, the amazing happened. All of sudden, Nenners appeared behind me! Crazy! I had just said "she'll back me up" and then all of a sudden she was literally standing behind me! I had no idea she was in the store at all. Awesome. So funny. I then dramatically moved her chips through the cash... in slow motion. I'm a little bit awesome. Until next time Kag... until next time.
Texting. I love texting with Spearmint. She makes everything funny. As you yourself now know - or should - it's right under this one. I shall start this origin with a brief telling about her. Spearmint is an amazing person. She just is. She's just her. Wow, apparently I've lost my descriptive abilities. That probably has something to do with the fact that I'm awkward around her. I don't know why. I even have an embarrassing (for me) story about her from before I moved here - like from years ago. And another awkward moment from right after I did. I just shut down. I think it's because she's so clear. Ah, I'm trying to use words. Anyways, she's a good one to be around. She's just an encourager. She's called me on things before - I like that. She did so on the night of her nickname crowning. Spearmint's just all-around cool. She gives some of the best hugs - it's like she hugs with her entire person. That's impressive and quite unusually awesome.
Text awesomeness. We were talking about candy. About how less people appreciate the good, quality stuff. We faulted generations. Their inability to work at liking quality things. Then, the hilarious happened. Spearmint sent a text questioning what's wrong with this generation. She sent it to her brother by mistake. At the time he was waiting for his baby to be born. Hilarious! I love Spearmint. I save her stories. I don't know why. I think because I love them so much, but finally here one is. It's been shared - enjoy it as I do.
This may be my new favourite set of pictures. I have the 'Photobooth' app on my phone. It's awesome, but it not easy to self portrait it up. Especially if you can't hear the sound of it. So, me & Nougat guesstimated. I was off in the timing. I turned it before it was done and got a shot of my Dad's legs. They look like they're Nougat's. Creepy. Definitely a second look pic.
It's a concern of everyone everywhere. Not true, but it's a concern of some. It's a concern of my nephew Nougat's. My hair drives the kid nuts. One morning I rushed through my readying to visit with them. I put my hair up, but didn't pull enough of my bang down. He told me my hair looked crazy. It might have been that we were acting crazy. Still, I don't know how that kid can call any hair crazy when compared with that of his two sisters.
Lee Jr & Her Escaping Hairdo! Cutie.
Wow! Frannie has crazy hair. I hope she always has crazy hair!
Me with my crazy hair, acting... crazy... with Nougat:
This lady was so mad at me. She kept telling me that her card was a "Pay Pass" card. It wouldn't work. She was ready to throw the machine and me out of a window. I asked to see the card. It wasn't a "Pay Pass" card. It was a debit card. She still wasn't happy. Humble pie sucks, unless you wash it down with hilarity. Too bad she couldn't see the humour in it. Ah well, this is another story that brings more when shared. Sometimes it even brings out mimics. Limabean did a good rendition of this story. She entertained me and my fellow cashiers quite nicely. I expect much from her.
You know when people try to act cool? This is about one such person. If you're going to grow up, just do it already. Try to be cool and you'll get nowhere. Anyways, this guy came through my cash. He was probably in his thirties or so. He was dressed as a cool guy. He had the jacket and these sunglasses and all of the necessary gear. I gave him the total. He said "Pay Pass". I said "Go ahead". I wasn't looking at him though. He did nothing, so I said "Pay Pass, you can go ahead". Still, nothing. I knew he was waiting for me to look at him, but I was reluctant to give him more attention than I politely required of myself. I finally looked up and said "Go ahead". He slowly pulled out his wallet and said "Pay Pass". He then hit his whole wallet against the machine, with great flourish I might add. Then he looked up as if he was the coolest man in the world. I tried so hard not to laugh. At least the guy thinks he's cool. Plus, he added humour to my day and to the day's of others that I've shared this story with.
Okay, the cashes at No Frills are kind of close together. Things happen. Sometimes people touch my butt. Sometimes they full-out hit me. Sometimes they threaten to lob carts at me - old people though, they just do it - they hurl the the shopping carts towards me, then they laugh like crazy people... I'm pretty sure that's going to be me when I get old. Anyways, sometimes I just fall into the customers with no reason. Either way, funny things. This story is just awkward. Still, share shall I.
You know how you can tell when someone is staring at you? Well, I got that feeling. It was busy, so I decided to push it aside. Then, it just got more intense. I still tried to ignore it. I was bringing a customer through. There was a huge line up at my line and at the cash behind me. So many people. Anyways, the customer paid and I turned to get their change. Yep, the starer was right there. It was an older, nice looking lady, who was breathing on my neck. Staring intensely. I almost jumped and repelled backwards, but I managed to keep ahold of myself. I gave my customer their change, then turned to face the starer. She looked at me, then said slowly, and at this point, creepily (yet with a nice voice), "I just wanted to let you know we'll be rubbing bums shortly". I yelled in my head, but not aloud. I just stared right back at her, frozen. Then I think I said "What?". She then explained that she'd have to step into my box area so that her husband could pass with their cart. I appreciate warnings when people, mostly strangers, invade my space, but use words from the start. Please don't preface anything with creepy stares.
No one knew what it would look like. It started with Waywin's attack. Kae was picking me up to watch some movies. She pulled in, left her car running, and came in to choose a couple of flicks. Waywan came home, saw an opportunity and took it. He moved her car down the block. We went out and she was stumped. She'd had a car taken before. Waywin says he was just teaching her so that that wouldn't happen again. Either way, Kae kind of kept her cool. We found the car. It was hilarious. Later when she dropped me off she noticed the exercise equipment left at the curb to be taken away. She laughed maniacally. It was both hilarious and frightening. I wouldn't want that coming at me. Anyways, she lifted the thing off of the ground, looking like she was going to kill herself, and hung it from their tree. She was pretty impressed with herself. It was funny. That laughter stuck for quite some time. Funny girl. I have absolutely no fact info hiding abilities, so I stayed away in the morning. The kids finally noticed it. Waywin was impressed. The thing is though, this happened a long time ago. They've been tied in pranks for the past 8 months. Wow! That went by scary fast. Anyways, I'm not a prank person, but they both are. They should probably break their tie. Soon. Hilariously. Maybe on film for all of the world to see.
I was at Tate's house, just getting ready to leave (sad), when I saw that she'd bought the same toothbrush holder as me. We totally got them at the same time at the famous 'Canadian Tire' the past day. I just hadn't noticed. I then related that I'd forgotten to pack my toothbrush so took one of my Mom's many spares. It was an awesome toothbrush. Then I said it was a "delicious toothbrush". Nougat and Tate started laughing good at that one. Apparently I eat them whole. Why re-use when you can re-buy? But seriously, cool toothbrush. I'm excited and hyper.
It was a funny time, so Limabean was involved. Kae had created a vid about the kag's 'swearing' (not really, but hilarious and skillful - go Kae!), so the kag's fake baby announcement came up (so funny). Then Limabean described the baby for Nieceamine saying (in hyperness), "It was the ugliest baby you've seen in my entire lifetime!" Um... Nieceamine can't see into your lifetime. Good on you though.
More funny: I forgot why Limabean said that and also that it was about a fake baby. I told Nenners the incorrectly modified story like a week later. She said she was shocked that Limabean had said that about a baby. When I finally remembered I related the hilarity of that to Limabean - she told me it would be true if it was a real baby. That made me laugh, along with many other things in that convo, which revolved around the incident behind her nickname and also bums (there's a cashier story coming soon). She's my random dosage. And that day I had tears of hilarity because she hit her point of no return. I love that.
Grade 12 Eurotrip. Amazing! Crazy 10 day tour! Madness. Awesome except for one scary night, although it was quite funny. We were a big group of St. Matt’s Tigers, combined with many other school’s big groups. One night, some of the hotel reservations didn’t go through. Being that we were St. Matt’s Tigers, we were the ones that had to find another hotel. We toured the town, I think it was Cannes, all through the day. At night we dropped the others off at their hotel. It was stunning. It was beautiful, the nicest hotel I’ve ever seen. We rallied to stay there. No no said the teachers. Sad. We left. Our tour guide Fabritzio started walking us to our ‘hotel’. It was far. We walked through all of these dark little alleys that he called ‘shortcuts’. There was drug paraphernalia lying on the ground. We walked around all these sad people. One kid had a panic attack (it was unrelated), so we had to slow down. Then, we arrived. It was horrible. It was no better than the alleys. It was what Mister Giggles once called a ‘helltel’. Ew. I feel icky just thinking about it. The teachers got us checked in and ‘settled’. Then, they told us to not open the door at all. Way to spread the scared. I’m so thankful that it was always 4 to a room. Easier to laugh. Everything was dirty. Sheets were ew. Floor under the bed had things and creatures. We stood in a huddle in the middle of the room. Then, we noticed the window. It was open and led out to an area that had old mattresses and further drug things. The creepiest part… there was stuff piled on top of more stuff, building a staircase to our window. Ew. We freaked. We weren’t allowed to get a teacher, no opening the door for us. Finally, I decided to go out the window and destroy the stairs. I was held and hanging out, throwing stuff to further corners of the ‘courtyard’. Finally, it was done. We cheered in victory. Then, logic slapped me in the face. Just because we couldn’t reach the stuff anymore didn’t mean a person on the ground couldn’t rebuild. Sad and useless non-victory for us all. We didn’t sleep, but still, Europe!
Wow. I just saw DPO, so all the Europe stories are becoming clearer. This is my best getting lost story. The Vatican is crazy busy. I have never heard that many languages separately or together EVER! It was babel-ly. So hard to concentrate. I don’t like crowds, I just pick up too many things from people and have a tendency to get overwhelmed. There were so many different tours and languages that we had headphones for our guide. Praise God. For serious. Anyways, we had a break in the tour. The teachers told us where to meet in 15 minutes. After talking a bit, I decided to use the washroom before we had to meet. I ran into Mrs. V coming out of them. I stopped, and because I’m me, and I’m directionally challenged and I worry, I asked her where we were meeting. She told me a whole different place on a whole different level. I double-checked with her. She stuck by it. I warned her, she laughed. I peed. I went to the place she told me. I waited. I waited and waited. Nothing. Scary. So scary. Finally I started walking around – you couldn’t stand still – move or be trampled. I went to the place where we were supposed to meet. No one. Sad. I tried to ask people. I was ignored. It’s not like there was an information booth. I suddenly saw a door. It looked inviting. I went to it. I opened it. It should have been locked. It led outside. It led to a non-crowded place. It was tempting. If I had stepped out, I would have been locked out. There were thousands of people waiting in line for The Vatican, I would have been completely without hope. They didn’t even give us an in case of emergency info packet… I’m me. I need things like that. I was starting to panic. I stopped by the wall and had God gather me and my senses up. Suddenly and with no Lisa-based reason, I put my headphones on. Then, I heard my name faintly. The volume was up all the way. I started walking. It got louder. It was Mr. B! He was so angry! But, he was saying “Lisa! If you can hear this try to walk towards us while it gets louder!”. Relief. I was a little scared to walk towards a voice that mad, but still onwards I went. Suddenly I was found. Mr. B was filled in by Mrs. V and I was found blameless. Wow. Big day in the ‘Chronicles of Lisa Michelle’.
I have this crazy, but picky, spicy addiction. Some of the people in my life feed this. DPO always did, mostly I think because she can’t even eat regular pepperoni without crying from the heat (which I can’t understand at all – pepperoni’s not spicy). Anyways, she would always take me to Blessings to buy books, Western Lavergne for pepperettes, and then Chili’s Specialty Store for this crazy hot popcorn and these cayenne pepper caramels. She’s a cool one. The caramels are amazing – they would make me cry and her laugh. There’s a video somewhere of me eating one. I should track it down. Either way, I would never have water with me and we’d have to stop at the closest place. Anyways, one day I was hanging out with ‘who’ later and came across the last ones. I gave one to her. I didn’t tell her they were spicy. Would you? So funny. I didn’t even see her eat it, I’ve only heard her telling, but still I love it. Still I’m glad. Oh, it was a great DPO and ‘who’ day!
The day that disco tried to kill my Dad. I was 18. An adult. A saved adult. I was in Europe. I was going to a youth ‘discotech’ with the group and with many many teachers. DPO stayed in. My parents internationally called me for television technical support. When I wasn’t there, they flipped out. DPO told them I was clubbing. I understand their fears. They called her like every 15 minutes to see if I had gotten back yet. Gone was her quiet evening of rest. Still, so funny. That’ll teach them to tech support call me :P
I can’t do it. I worry about if I’m loud. I can’t even wear them too long without worrying about how loud I’m breathing. I’m on a train with headphones on right now. One earbud is out, so I’m surviving. Just sharing the weird. The funny that makes me me. Not meme or mimi. Me, Lisa Michelle. I kidd you for more fun times.
So, once again I pay for my teasing. Nenners was taking Engagement photos for Seb and Parker. She was really stressed about it. She takes amazing pictures, but she wanted them to be utterly perfect. I was suggesting different locales. I wasn’t even really teasing her at this point, but I had. We (M&D, Nenners, Sunshine & Me) were driving back from The Works (funny footnote), and we passed a hidden waterfall where a couple was getting their pictures done. I jumped on it. I told her I could drive them out then pick them up when they were done. She didn’t think they’d go for it. Not so fun having your picture taken. Anyways, I said “Oy vey”. Sunshine asked what that meant. Nenners said it was German swear words! I was crushed. My parents exclaimed “Lisa!”. I was purple with mortification. It’s been so long since I’ve sworn. I’ve been working on not saying them since I was like 13. I gave them up before I was saved because I didn’t want to ever again say anything that I couldn’t say in front of my nieces and nephews. Plus, they now just bug me – use more words – there is no way I can be convinced that swear words actually express feelings accurately, especially when people use them to mean both good and bad things. Anyways, suffice it to say, my little Lisa heart was crushed. I was desperately trying to count up how many times I’d said “Oy vey” in the course of my life. I thought it meant ‘Dear Me’. It doesn't, but it does mean 'oh woe' in Yiddish. She admitted it a few minutes into my panic. Nenners, that was a good one. Impressed I was and am.
Footnote:
The Works. It’s my favourite place to eat (I’m not a real restaurant person). I am an extremely picky eater, but a couple years ago I went to eat with DPO (Get your ‘dance praise on’ – Go fellow Tiger… and also reluctant Chapel Hill Catholic Elementary Student :P) and they had a new Elk burger. It had like a sixth of the fat of the Beef one. DPO didn’t believe I would try it. I did. So competitive. If my parents had only been aware of that; Too late. Anyways, we both got it (I’m pretty sure), and I loved it. It might be because I get the Peppercorn Broiler (which is completely covered), but still… really really weird. Anyways, I’ve gotten that ever since. I don’t go often, but I love it when I do. So, we all went there (I got to choose because I’m awesome [no no… because I’m not a mother… it’s confusing]). I got THE burg. Nenners tried it. Oh dear, dear me, oh woe (hehehe), if only I had a camera on her. I really like it; I thought she would too. She didn’t. She hated it. She looked like she was going to throw up. I felt bad. I mostly felt humouress though. Maybe that’s the real reason behind the ‘Oy vey’ hilarity. I’m going to go with that.
Dollars flying out the window. Next time you read that, it will have more meaning. I was hanging out with TH and Ineb. We had fun times. We ate food and probably watched some geek shows (the best of the entertainment variety). Ineb sneakily paid for the food. That doesn't work with my family. We fight hard. One time at a restaurant my Grandma Lil even faked a bathroom break halfway through the meal and paid the whole bill off. See, fight hard, take nothing. Yep, it can be a bad thing. Anyways, I definitely paid for my fighting tendencies in this particular tale. I was driving the Highlander (oh, so many memories of hilarity awesomeness hidden from my Mom in it's calm and polishedness).
Anyways, I paid Ineb and me and TH started to leave. Ineb had fought me on the $s. I finally threw like a 10 far into his house and me and TH booted it out of there. He ran after us with it. Then he went inside and shut the door. I took the 10, at this point it was just about winning (I'm super competitive and careful about it), and stuffed it in the door. Now completely at ease, I said 'fasten your seatbelt TH' and started the car. The window was open. I had no, like absolutely no, idea! We were talking. I didn't hear him open the house door. It was so dark outside. It was like midnight or so. I turned to face forward when something hit me on the shoulder and then bounced back out. I looked to the left and saw a pale smiling face.
I freaked out. No one ever really expects me to girly scream, but I'm very adept at it. Ineb and TH didn't know that about me. They learned quickly. It scared me so much that even when I realized it was Ineb, I kept screaming. Loud and long and against my will. He jumped back. Then he must of realized he couldn't fix anything, because after a second of thought debating (see I was noticing everything, just not interacting well), he turned and ran inside. Then TH kicked in. She was yelling "Shut up! Shut up!". It didn't work. Finally she switched to "DRIVE! Just drive!". That worked. I put the car in go and off we went. It took me half the block to stop screaming my head off. So funny. I'm crying even now.
Never scare me like that. This is one of my favourite funny stories, but I would just get angry. This one works only because Ineb didn't try to do anything. I am not a prank person. Even little attempted ones would just make me cry. I don't even have a reason. I haven't been pranked, but still I know this. Respect it, or I shall never share these funny funnies again. That was said in a authoritative voice, but it is unreasonable and probably untrue. Good night!
It's happening. I was sitting down at a family meal. I was making fun of Canadian comics. In particular, Brent Butt. Mostly because I love 'Corner Gas' so much. As mentioned previously, my family doesn't always receive hilarity well. Well rounded stories from others yes, but ours, not so much. I'm relatively quiet at family dinners. Are you shocked? I blog a lot, but I'm actually the tamest of the bunch. Plus, my family has actual crazy things happen to them, while I just take the would-be normal and share my craziness in it.
I was talking about how it's funny that Brent Butt decided to love on Canada and base 'Corner Gas' in Saskatchewan. I was talking a lot more than usual this dinner. Then, it become clear why I sometimes lock my mouth down. My Dad made a comment and I furthered it saying (oh dear, so hard to get this across... purple face still happening...), "Why doesn't he just marry Regina!". I didn't say Regina. Yep, it was a big slip. It fit into the marriage category and definition, but it's definitely not what the focus should be on. This, this, this, this I said in front of my parents and Seb and 'who'. There was a shocked silence. It's a good thing Seb and 'who' were there or it would have never been broken. I was laughing, but I'm telling you, I would have been laughing alone. Glad that they joined in. Sad that there was cause for them to. Only in this case though.
There you have it, my most epicly embarrassing story. Love it as I can never love it. Laugh at it, or I've shared it for naught. Love me, my dear readers, as only good friendly readers can.
So. A few nights ago my brain kicked into gear processing things I didn't consciously pay attention to. Like a mind clean-up time. You know the kind. All of a sudden, I sat up in full alert mode and quiet screamed 'FOUR'. I laughed right away. I had no idea why I said it. At first I thought it was golf related and questioned why - I'm not a golf oriented person. No no. It was that I gave Limabean a wrong number. She hilariously asked for one (barefoot in a Metro parking lot... funny girl), and I said no. Then she text asked my sister and hers. Mine, who was with me, texted her back 'NO!' - we come from funny stock too. Anyways, I was just teasing and the whole reason this came up (and the mistake rolled) was that I was headed to Ottawa. So, I gave her a number, but I got the first digit wrong. I never actually look at numbers anymore - I plug people in as contacts and work only with their names. Sometimes that's too easy. I obviously don't spend much time with my own number either. Thinking of Ottawa, and apparently my old Ottawa cell number, I gave her the first digit of my old one instead. Thus, 'FOUR' soon become clear to me. I felt bad right away. Understanding hit and I was like 'as if I teased her and said no and then gave her a wrong number'. I felt so bad. I would never do something like that intentionally. Plus, I respond to all texts, the only real times I don't is when I'm at work, church, or when I occasionally write a text and accidentally don't send it. I hate that. Whenever I decide to text that person again, the unsent one appears to mock me. It makes me crazy mad. Did you like that? Crazy mad. That would mean crazy crazy in this context. You couldn't have known that. I might have been angry. Not so. Just crazy. Oh well, Limabean knows I'm crazy crazy and I'll just add to that list she has of why. Be careful with numbers. See ya my readers!
I was told to add this, for embarrassments sake. I was with 'who', in her car, and I was teasing her. I like to tease people. She always keeps her car in a neat and tidy manner, so I was shocked by the large bird dropping on the windshield.
Me: "Wow a dog pooped on your car!"
'who': "You mean bird?"
Me: "Yeah. A huge dog."
'who': "You keep saying dog"
Me: "No I don't."
... I'm stubborn and full of errors. At least I admit them eventually though.
Visiting the parentals. Filled an innocent plastic glass (smart) to it's brim (not so smart). There was no reason for the drop. It happened almost immediately. I moved the beverage, and then the beverage moved at me. Water and me; Not so friendly. I try. I love, but still. I soaked the floor, covered myself head to toe. Epic. My Mom just looked at me and said 'how'. Valid question that wasn't even said like a question, mostly because she didn't really want an answer. Still, I turned it back onto her. Which side does this klutzy come from? I seriously don't know. I'm pretty sure I got a double dose from each side. Quadruple the clumsy. Quadruple the stories. Fair trade.
I pretty much don't sleep on Christmas Eve. I never really have. Sure, as a baby maybe, since then not so much. Even now it alludes me. The past 14 years has been me, awake at like 3 in the morning, desperately waiting for my nieces and nephews to wake up. That sounds like an excuse, I don't get excited just for them... it's me... I'm crazy. One year, in New Zealand, I did sleep. I stayed up late, and actually slept in Christmas Morning. How I woke was a nightmare. Some members of my family can sing, I am not one of them. None of the aforementioned singers, in fact, were present at this memorable call to awaken. Now, I'll give them the fact that it was early, it was morning, and that they were excited, BUT, I'll still complain. It was bad. It was one of the worst wake ups I've had in my life. They ruined a once beloved Christmas Carol. It took a few minutes before the fact that it was Christmas to sink into my head. It took until after my ears recovered.
I'm relatively new to the Church world. Like 10 months old in it. It's awesome. Know that I know that. It's a place to grow in God. It's a place filled with God's truth. Services line up Biblically always. It's filled with His people. It's a place filled with people with these huge hearts. They're encouragers. They're amazing. He's amazing. But it's also a funny place sometimes. Church people are funny people. I'm a funny person too, so it works. I'm just not a Church funny person. Well, maybe I am. I would not be the person to ask. I'd be a little subjective. One day, I went into the washroom and was peeing when the person in the next stall began prayerful peeing. They started speaking in tongues. I try not to listen too hard when people are having personal prayer time. It always seems like a private person to God time. I really had to pee though and it was just so awkward. It made me laugh. What a faithful person. Staying close to God throughout the day. I get that. Still, it made me laugh.
Whahaha. Whahahahahaha! This could take awhile. Oh dear, so Kae was over and decided to write on the wonderful world wide web about her day through a web-enabled internet log page. Hehehehe. She did so and talked of Dr. Seuss, who's awesome by the way - I love that he gave us the word nerd - did you like that rhyme - very Seussian wasn't it? Anyways, she tries to write that she watched 'Horton Hears a Who' with the kiddies. She wrote it as 'Hoe'. At least she had the 'e'. It's all about the 'e'. Those were some funny times. Epic that Nieceamine caught it. Smart girl. The flubber Kae, also smart. Especially in being intelligent enough to recognize the awesome hilarity of it and leave it up for its own sake.
She lost. She lost horribly. Like, bad taste in the mouth lost. Literally. Horribly. My Mom has a popcorn shaped counter vacuum. It comes from a kitchen store. There was a fry vacuum and something else, but the popcorn one was definitely the coolest. We picked that one. One day we were all sitting in the kitchen. Nenners was visiting. Nenners is a cook, like a could be a real one, so she has a love of spices. She thought it was a cute popcorn spice and seasoning container. She asked about it. She opened it. She picked up some crumbs. She started moving them towards her mouth. Slow down moment. It was seriously slow motion. Me and 'who' were screaming 'NOOOOOO!' Not in time. She ate them. Ew. Understandable, but ew. Hehehe. One of my favourite Nenners moments. The look on her face. Seriously memorable.
The real purpose (special voice guest: my leftovers pushing mom):
Did you like my DRAMATIC film sequence shooting? Impressive I am. Sometimes :P
What? We double feature it sometimes here! Oh the stories that go with this movie. I have a love-hate relationship with it. I just hate that it was obviously supposed to be a set of movies. I like when the first movie in a series can stand on its own. I love the Superman story though. I grew up thinking I was Supergirl. I love the old 'Adventures of Superman', the Chris Reeves movies (though I find it the corniest amongst all this corn... come on Lois, be a little cool), the nineties 'The New Adventures of Lois and Clark', and had a great love of the first seasons of 'Smallville'.
Anyways, Nieceamine likes to screencap her movies. When she asked if she could pause it while we watched it I limited it to 3 (it's a really long movie and he's too cute to be pausing it all of the time). She exclaimed hilariously 'One in pain, one as Clark Kent, and one as Superman'. Me and Toothbrush responded with a 'What! In pain?' She then explained that he looks best in pain. Funny. We just found out that he doesn't look as cool slow motion. Look at me getting into the teen movie crush.
The Past Veiwing:
I was watching it one day, when Nieceamine and Toothbrush came in halfway through and asked why. Then they saw Superman. They sat their butts down pretty quick. Then the comments started. Hilarious comments. Poor Isaac, who also claimed a viewing seat, was the only boy in the room. Here are some samples:
Nieceamine, general musings:
"Oh you can be MY Superman any day!"
Toothbrush on flying:
"I'd be so scared but safe in his arms"
"Wouldn't she be cold? But, his heart would warm her up."
The Current Viewing:
Nieceamine: "He must have like really strong abs of steel."
Toothbrush: "Wow. What a rock!"
Nieceamine: "I forgot of how much I loved him."
Nieceamine: "Wow. Zoom in!"
Toothbrush: "Wow, look at his swirl."
Me: "Would you be in that crowd cheering him on?"
The two of them: "No, I'd be next to him."
Toothbrush: "Actually no. He'd be holding me."
Me: "Are you done taking pictures yet?"
Nieceamine: "Oh please, everytime I see his face it opens up a whole new world."
... if she sings that song I'll put an end to this madness...
Toothbrush: "Oh, I'd hold onto you."
Nieceamine: "I was tired before I watched this. I'm not anymore."
... the sounds... the screams and the gasps... they're hilarious...
They've now determined that there will be a sequel. Apparently they've got the pull to make that happen.
A mom came through with her little tiny cute as a button baby. She'd been distracted while shopping. She picked up a box of 'Rice Thins'. Oh Mr. Christie, you make an empty box. That's right. Factory sealed emptiness. It gave me great gales of laughter. So much so that I decided to invest in this little box and buy it for entertainment purposes. All of my co-workers thought I was nuts. I get that. Plus, like 9 people from Third Day came through my cash. They thought I was nuts too. It's on a shelf in my room. Funny objects and memories. I like things such as these.
This older man came up to my cash, holding two boxes of crackers in the palms of his hands. He was looking at me quizzically. Really really quizzically. Then he told me the boxes were different weights. He asked me if I could feel the difference between them. I couldn't. He explained that he was buying them anyways, but was curious. Finally, I weighed them. There was like a .02 something difference. The man was like Mr. Monk. So funny and so random.
Wow. This one's even difficult to write. Still too funny and it's already been a few days. Anyways, I saw her and her family coming. It was busy, they were busy. The lady in front of them in line was amazed at the number of kids. She got the number of them wrong. I really screwed up; I corrected her. This opened up the conversation. Bad things followed. Very very bad things. She furthered her talking. It went into the begetting zone. Too detailed. Too too many details. I was slowly shaking my head, silently screaming 'stop talking ma'am'. All of a sudden Limabean's hubby, Milne, stepped forward. He assumed the best of the conversation. Thinking that this old lady was innocently talking of the busyness of kids. Not so. I was trying to keep my focus on Limabean. Avoid the conversation of awkwardness happening a foot away. She's a good one to focus on. She was a busy busy mom, but still managed to be cool. Hilarious too. All of a sudden, children's shoes were on my belt. I threw one at her. I'm not perfect. I put an egg (wrapped up... she doesn't tell it like that... BUT it was safely wrapped in a bag), in another boot. Then, like one of my work stories I had shared, she tried to pay pass a debit card. Dramatically. I loved it. I didn't respond fully because I was still scarred by the old lady and still red... I was red for so long. I did gather myself enough to awkward wave goodbye when she looked back though. Good times. That amount of hilarity needed a marker. I gave her a opened and resealed box of crackers. My co-workers didn't think I would. Why doubt my serious hilarity people? Two days later, we chatted about what actually happened when she came through my cash. It was even more funny. Crazy how that works. I love when she hits this Limabean level of laughter, of which there is no return. I take it as a hilarity victory. Fun times, Limabean, funny fun times.
I can't even describe how it happened, except to say slowly. We epic hugged. We epic failed. We started falling. We tried to regain balance. Cement is dangerous. Toothbrush kicked me in the ankle bone. Painful. Finally it was over. It it is basically indescribable. Still, ridiculously funny.
Later on...
Toothbrush failings: "YOU are a better friend!"
...um... way to hurt me kid. 'Even you' was the tone. Switch your emphasis there, Missy. You're one of my 8 year younger friends okay. Deal with it. You're stuck with me.
So. She was little. A little troublemaker. Anyways, she was at the cottage and teasing me, okay, it was mutual. She ended up threatening my toothbrush. I, germaphobic that I am, told her to put the toothbrush, MY toothbrush, down. She didn't. Instead, she threatened to lick it. I, not knowing her for extended periods of time, didn't believe her to be serious. She was. And because I hadn't taken her seriously she did the unthinkable... she actually licked my toothbrush! If I didn't already love her I would have thrown her out the window. That and the fact that she was 11 at the time. I remember her littler too. Long time kid. A good nine years knowing her! Go go hilarious Toothbrush! These are our winter photo poses... we go for individuality...
Nieceamine, Toothbrush, & Me decided to watch 'Forever Young'. I love that movie.
Anyways, Nieceamine asks who's in it. I say Mel Gibson. She says,
"Mel Gibson. Oh la la!"
... Ridiculous laughter from me...
Nieceamine: "Why are laughing? What's so funny? I was just teasing"
... sure sure Nieceamine.
THEN...
Helen's in a coma. Sad right. I cry (when not with these crazies).
Nieceamine: "She should just suck it up. She just hit some oranges"
Me: "She was hit by a truck!"
Nieceamine: "Oh, now I get it."
Toothbrush: "She looks like she's going to be dead for a couple of years."
...um... do we need to have a serious talk there Miss?
I was asked so many questions during this movie. I love this movie. It's a good thing I greatly love Nieceamine and Toothbrush, or I would have kicked their butts out! Non stop.
The Girls being coma bound... or as they would say 'dead for while', or perhaps we should tell them to 'suck it up'. Either way... them hilarious:
It's a little bit frightening... hehehe... Kung Fu Fighting... LOVE IT! I love lightning too. It scares me though. I've had those when it's unexpected epic leaps of terror. One happened when I was 5. I was hyper. Everyone was home and I kept running from inside to outside between groups, driving my Mom nuts with my front door opening. I ran out and then lightening broke across the sky. I screamed and cried instantaneously. My family came running, thinking I was hurt. Not at all. Just terrified at the glory of lightning. The other time was so much later and more embarrassing. I was in grade 9 religion class. We were putting on a play and I had to storm out of the portable in one scene. Anyways, I delivered my angry lines, opened the door and stepped outside just as lightning broke across the sky. I girly screamed and jumped back into the room. Both times, hilarious. Outwardly and afterwards hilarious, but at the time, so scary. Such is the case of many things that have the potential to translate from fearful to funny. We have to push our fears out of the way and see the hilarity. It helps with small fears and it helps with the real big ones too. Like when you can recognize the crazy way your thoughts are moving. When fears of uncertainty and the future and our worth and other common fears, the ones you struggle with personally, start to close in on you. Common they may be, but they certainly don't feel that way when you're dealing with them. They feel utterly controlling and can easily become overwhelming. We're not the ones to fight such fears. We have an advocate. His name is Jesus. With Him our fears are easily overtaken. We can see their flaws, their weaknesses. We can laugh at the lack of power they have compared to Him. Or at how we acted when under them. This distances us. We can grow past them. Grow today. Use humor in strengthening your path. Find His love. Take it up and put everything else down.
1 John 2:1-2
"My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous, and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world."
--> If God is for us... seriously... nothing else will stand.
Isaiah 41:13
"For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee."
--> Of all of the fears I struggle with, the fear of living apart from Him is my greatest. It's the only healthy fear we can have. It desperately seeks to push out all others. It wages a slow and constant battle against our flesh, daily, but it will triumph if we continue to live fully for Him.
I am. Although I don't usually rely on this statement, or the connotations it brings to mind, it is true. Today I woke up grumpy, knowing that I had to go to work and not wanting to go. I went. I always do. Always have, though not without some issues (another time). So, I went. I mistakenly went. I was 24 hours early for tomorrow's shift. It was one of those stupid things. I wrote down my schedule too fast and jumped ahead. Distracted Lisa time. Unable to focus. Stupid, but funny. I know that it's funny, but I won't find it super funny for like another hour. Still, I share for you. Take joy in my funny times. I shall join in the laughter soon. At least I was able to pick up some things for Nenners. I also found a disturbing robot claw. I already love it. I think I'm going to bug a lot of people with it. I leave you now to discover what the day has to offer for someone such as me.
Wait. I'm calling all good funny stories... no time limit...
SHARE YOURS. If not with me (though comments with funny things would make me happy), then at least with the people actively in your life. Funny mistakes are meant to be shared. Even real ones, when appropriate and with His timing, are meant to be shared. We learn from each other. Not so scary then.
You know the movie 'Monsters, Inc'? You better. I <3 Pixar! In the beginning they 'scare because we care'. That care is a selfish care. They're taking what they can from people for themselves. They learn in the movie. At the end they use laughter instead. That's powerful. You get scared without meaning to, but you can't laugh without finding something funny (real laugh, I'm not talking about fake laughs. I hate them. Just don't bother trying)! Take a lesson out of the Pixar vault and share laughter and joy. I do.
I get asked if I'm crazy all of the time. I tell funny stories to co-workers and customers all day long (when I go to work on the right day :P). When I get asked that question I answer honestly and fully. I say this: "I am crazy. I'm a crazy Christian. Crazy for God. So crazy for God that I work hard at putting aside the world and at putting on joy instead." And then people look at me like I'm even more crazy, but they know I'm telling the truth about it. If they see me again, they keep on asking. I keep on telling them. I'll keep on telling them. Be a light, my dear readers. Be a light that carries the truth of Jesus's sacrifice, of God's sacrifice for us. Show the joy that comes from knowing God. Be yourself. Be imperfect, but loved and learning. Tell your story. Tell how God has been intricately weaved into your life. Since He created you. Because He loves you. Do this because He loves them too.
Matthew 5:16
"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."
Yet another awkward elevator story for you to enjoy this fine day! I should clarify the title. I do have a tendency to dance in elevators, but only if I'm by myself, this dance was merely me trying to avoid a collision with a spastically moving hyper man. He was getting off on the floor I was was on. I was trying to get on. His back was to the entrance, so he had no clue I was there. The elevator was full of people. He was trying to finish his conversation with a fellow lift-rider. He was moving continuously. No matter which direction I moved he blocked me. It really did look like a dance. The best part of this dance of hilarity was the sound effects. The crowd tried to protect me. They tried to say something, I tried to say something, but he was just talking, and moving, so fast. Instead, every time he almost hit me they'd alternate between going 'Ohhh' and 'Ahhh' and do that stuck in your breath sound. They did so in unison! I was impressed. He finally got off of the elevator after knocking into me. It had been quite awhile. Then, the elevator crowd again did an awesome thing. He was still right near the door. You know how elevators are not sound proofed, and how you can hear people talking as they come to a stop? Well, the elevator crowd, the best elevator crowd ever, forgot about that. The door closed and they reacted like we were in a vault. They laughed so loud and so long and so violently that the whole thing started shaking! It was ridiculous and I loved it! Again, I was even more shy at this point, so I didn't laugh with them. When I made it to my desk though, I silent laughed like a crazy person until I fell off of my chair and laughed even more.
I was working for CBSA. It was morning. I am awkward. I was waiting for an elevator, when a person from elementary and high school came out. It was awkward, you know how, those unexpected nothing really to say moments. Yep. Awkward (use your funny voice... I think high pitched would work best in this situation). Anyways, we attempted this thing called conversation for a moment, then both started telling each other we had to go (She only had a small window to get coffee, I had to get to work). There was an open elevator just waiting for me. I quickly tried to catch it, while she headed out. It caught me instead. Yes, there exist such things as elevator safety measures, but they don't include backpacks. I had school later and a backpack was a necessity. I got in through the door in time. The backpack was squished. I was emotionally squished. It was embarrassing and I was already nervous because, nothing really against the person, I react badly to unexpected meetings. I'm fine when I know I'm going to see people in general, or persons in particular, but I have a hard time when it's unexpected. I act weird. I can't get past the awkward. I'm working on it though. I have to, I'm in a smaller town. That's just an excuse, I'm working on it because I know I'm supposed to, and because I don't want to be as awkward as I am now. So, there I am, red faced would be an understatement, purple faced, stuck in between the doors. It takes a good long while for them to open. They were confused about my backpacks non-person attributes. The security guards ask if I'm okay. I manage to answer, which was a victory in itself for me at that point. I got in, closed the door as quick as I could, and started up alone. It took until the sixth floor for me to snap out of it. It was stupid to be embarrassed about something that was so crazy hilarious. I'd been thrown by seeing someone from my past, but that didn't have to roll into my elevator troubles. They do in the story, but from that point on they stopped being emotionally linked. It was a good morning. I had a wealth of entertainment to look back on during my day. Suffice it to say, elevators make me laugh. They are awkward boxes in every way. Even more so when awkward people try to step into them.
