Laundry Confessions

If you know me at all, or maybe even a little, or have just read enough of these embarrassing confessions, or I have nothing else I just wanted to bother you with a never-ending sentence, or... sucker. Okay - focusing on laundry... wait re-focusing on the general specifics of what you know... adding facts... then you know that I'm both hyper-observant and non-observant, mostly (and confusedly) at the same time. This story is an example of that and it has never been shared before. EVER. See, my parentals old abode never really changed... not in the little things... so my laundry routine was set... like in stone. The laundry detergent, fabric softener, weird dryer sheets, EVERYTHING in the same place. It was perfection (except for outside of the laundry room, because things like keys were always moved... and, even when they weren't, you expected them to be - those are some serious mind blowing skills). Anyways... I never had to think about anything. So... I didn't. I should have. See... my mom ran out of room in the storage thing... so she moved a huge Costco purchase up to the designated laundry shelf... it wasn't laundry related... but it did have a laundry-like picture... and size... I took it as fabric softener. It was Febreze. Can you imagine how bad that must have been on my clothes? I used it for months!!! Maybe more than months! I'm surprised my clothes didn't fall to pieces! Crazy person am I! Story shared it is.

The Perfect Power (literal) Flick

See... I'm a kind of a warnings person - I usually give people 3 before a full response. The response itself can be spontaneous, however, an association (or learning curve moment for me) with Toothbrush determined that a flick to the head with the three warned fingers is quite effective. I used said flick with no warnings at all just yesterday... silly and ridiculous things need no warnings. Kae just needed a flick on the head. I need 'em sometimes. Everybody needs a flick on the head sometimes. Should we make a song about it? No - but there are so many sometimes to sing with... too far. Okay - where was I - flicks all around - only for silly things though - otherwise it'd turn into a V8 type of slap fest (another time I'll have to share a V8 family slap and Nofreehomeless wave story). I went forward to give that delayed flick (with none of this going through my head), then the amazing happened - instead
of just a flick it was a shock. Oh, static electricity shocks, sometimes you have good timing. It was a powered up no warning flick! Awesome! It hurt me too (in that 'as if this hurts' kind of way), but I think it was worth in, for the sake of consistency. The real question is how to be consistent when there's now an unexpected static shock in the mix , I mean, how can I contain electricity... I'm forgoing it now. 'Tis done.

Phone Fear.

While my sister usually ridiculously busy sister Nenners has been away relaxing and enjoying beautiful Florida, I've been calling Mr. Si, Sunshine, and Mister Giggles at 8:10 each morning to make sure they get off alright to school. Timing is everything. I've been a sickie recently and during the middle of the night I managed to lose my voice pretty much completely. This morning I had just enough juice left to make the call. Sunshine answered it by saying good morning to me by name - its become a routine. I opened my mouth and a frog voice spoke back. It startled her. It startled me too. She managed to recover quite well for thinking some strange person was on the line, all the while, I was just trying to say it was me. Yikes. Awkward phone moments are the worst! After a ridiculously hot shower I regained my voice for like two hours, but alas, it has gone again, and thus left me with only my written one - which is fading from lack of sleep right now. Off to regain both now :P

Cashier Tales: New 'days' with old buds

I've been placed in a kind of isolation at work. Not officially, but still... it's happening. Anyways, there are certain people (many really) that they never put me next to. I'll be on 12 and they'll be on 1, or vice versa. I think it's purposed. Yesterday broke all of the established rules. It was the best! I wasn't looking forward to an 8 hour Saturday shift, especially after fun times and great movie watching with Spearmint the night before (Go 'Big Fish' and 'Newsies'), but then they put me next to one of my favourite co-workers. It'd been like at least a year. Scary. Anyways - since I knew I had a full boring day ahead I decided that we should establish a theme to make it through. A new theme day! Exciting! I knew no other cashiers would participate in a full out crazy one, so we were brainstorming normalish ones - things that could look unintentional. We landed on Bobbleheading. So fun and addictive. Honestly. People don't know - later co-workers were disbelieving of this, but at that point I literally couldn't bobble anymore. See - this theme day is so addictive because it actually has a goal: you nod your head at people and see if they'll nod back without knowing why. It's a game of natural responses! Love it!!! Most people will nod back - especially if you're talking to them - because it looks like your emphasizing your point. Hilarious. Dangerous. It seriously is because you get hooked. I think we would have been okay if we'd have stuck just to nodding at other people, but us cashiers also nodded back and forth everytime we looked at each other. Couldn't stop, as it'd become our natural response. If only the Nofreehomeless store had been busy, but alas it wasn't. All of a sudden we were battling, not in Bobbleheading, but against ourselves. Motion sickness had set in. We tried to switch from shaking of the head, instead of nodding. It didn't really help. Then I thought of the solution - water! Good 'ole H20 could save the day! I went to remedy our mishap - there was no water in the cooler!!! I asked redblackblur and was told there was none in the store for us poor self-induced sickly cashiers. We made ourselves ill, then I made us unbearably thirsty (you try mentioning water when there's none on hand). We struggled for like an hour when we randomly looked up at the same time to see another cashier get some water! Someone had found a bottle and replaced it without us noticing! Yay! After 4 glasses, I let go of what had been a budding hatred of Bobbleheading (which would have been sad, as it has so long been a dream of mine to be a non-actual one) - and moved on in my day! Aforementioned crazy cashier left to enjoy their day and was replaced by another that I'm never around! Good times. Lessons were learned too - I'll have to start planning for possible problems when I think up new 'days'... Hmmmm... I wonder if that'll take away from the fun... we shall see; Soon too - if they have broken me fully out of the isolation zone - though I may have proven the allusive 'their's' point. Things to ponder.

Blonde Moments

Well. It's just past midday and I've already had enough blonde moments to fill a week. I don't know what's up with me lately, but I've been even more clumsy than usual. I've been losing things, tripping about, and word mumbling like a crazy person. It's both frustrating and hilarious. I think I first started noticing it about a week ago. It crept up slowly on me. Last Sunday night though - it was undeniable. We were all up at the altar to be prayed for. I was positioned so that I could move out of the way - like well positioned - it makes no sense. I wasn't even the one prayed for. Sorry - getting ahead of myself. This other person got power hit by God and they flew back. So did the usher. Then one of them hit me. I went over a chair and a half. Kicked back at a height that I barely am while standing. So funny. Like 5 people saw it happen. It was embarrassing. Thankfully I'm quite good at falling - real and fake - all about the experience. Today I was just in a rush - I was late getting ready for Church and I needed to call to help my Mom out with some things. I changed up my shower routine (which I never do - creature of habit) and forgot to wash my hair - had to have a second shower like 15 minutes later when I finally stopped rushing around long enough to think. Then I just couldn't stop my thoughts. Everything was funny. I spent so much time trying to stop laughing at basically nothing. Then I just kept thinking of funny things that could happen. That entertained me just as well as if they were actually happening. That's just silly. At least that part of the crazy is wearing off. Still clumsy, but safe am I.

Glossy Me

Awhile ago an absolute cutie pie asked if she could sit beside me in Church. I gave in immediately. She finally settled in between me and Nieceamine. Nieceamine was sharing her purse items with this particular little one. We smelled her newly moisturized hands and complimented her new hair ideas, until she got sight of some gloss. There was no stopping her. She put it on herself and on Nieceamine. She followed that pattern again. I was praising and wasn't paying close attention to those two. Nieceamine kept trying to get me to look at the manner of the applying - I couldn't ever catch her at it. Finally a hand pulled me down and asked if I wanted gloss on. I politely declined, having already had some on. That answer wasn't really accepted. My head was pulled forward and what felt like my entire face was covered. Then she did what Nieceamine had been trying to get me to see - she licked the whole thing of gloss as she put it on. I wish I'd been just a glossy me... I wasn't... I was a slobbered on me. Oh, that was a horrible moment for the OCD part of me, but I'd do it again for that cute little smile (in combination with lots of hand sanitizer).

Cashier Tales: The Gushers Conundrum

I bought some 'Gushers' the other day. I don't really know why nostalgia hit me and brought me to the aisle where they live, but I do know why I finally bought 'em. The marketing got to me. I was a sucker for the mystery flavour - I wanted to know it. There were a few others in the break room when I went up - they encouraged me in my purchase quite well. There was a problem though - no mystery flavour appeared in the first package. Frustrated was I. I didn't want regular Gushers. You can get those everyday - I don't even really like those - this was an opportunity for better Gushers. I went, along with company, on a Gushers mystery search. We got to the third package and thought the colouring was there - I tried it... blackberry aka disgustingness... and it was sour... double ew... only good flavours should be sour; Others tried it... ick. We read the package again - we'd suffered for naught - there was no mystery held in the 'triple berry shock' package. At this point, 'the voice' had come upstairs... brought back by our Gushers rant... you know when someone just feels bad for you... she honestly just hugged me - patted my head - and said she thought that maybe Gushers were marketing to a very different age group. Burn. Truth, but burn cushioned by a hug. Funny. She left. We continued out search. 6th and final package... 3 of the mystery flavours... one for each of us. It was the best flavour ever. It was also the biggest rip-off ever - 3 lone Gushers in 6 packages. I went home with pockets full of rejects. It is unlikely that I will ever buy them again.

Cashier Tales: Further Accidental Accents

So I was at work yesterday - bored out of my tree - when this older guy came through my cash. About halfway in he asked if I was Scottish - I got it - my colouring (or rather lack thereof) makes the fact that I'm a blend of Irish, Scottish, and Norwegian pretty evident - so I told him I was a mix. Then he said it was a weird mix... I got that too. Anyways - he went on to say he asked because of my accent - I'm such a dork sometimes - it had nothing to do with colouring - I picked up his accent accidently... again. I turned so red. Hilariousness. Note to myself - never get that bored at work again ;P

Me vs The feline known as Bella

Bella's a pretty cute cat. She'll sleep beside you if you're sick or feeling down. She'll jump on you if she's feeling particularly affectionate (or hungry). She'll try to break into your room if she hasn't seen you in awhile. She'll bodycheck the bathroom door if you take a too lengthy bath. She'll terrify you if the opportunity arises; She doesn't often do this, but when she does - the memory most certainly sticks. Before the ceiling was finished Bella used to have a hiding spot up there. One time I was watching 'The Closer' with Nenners - like the scariest episode (I'm a wimp - it was the last I saw of that show) - and it was dark - when she jumped down and landed right next to me! Whaaa! It happened again with NCIS - same situation with an added Nieceamine around - she landed on me - so scary - so scream-worthy. Today another such event occurred. I came home already a little freaked out (I'd been tailed by a crazy veggietales person), worked on some nonsense, spoke with Nieceamine, then I ran upstairs to go to the washroom. It was afternoon, like sunny outside, but still no lights on in the house. I opened the door to the washroom, stepped inside, then the counter moved. I jumped so high off the ground... I may have even hit the doorframe a bit on my run out. That crazy cat was just sitting there - chilling on the counter like nothing was wrong. Crazy cat! I'll be checking every counter for quite awhile ;)

Cashier Tales: Notamine

This one will be another cashier's tale. I try to make conversation most times I go through a cash, or at the very least wish 'em a good rest of their day. The job is boring and that helps a bit - smiley people and the like. Anyways, went through this lady's cash - wowed her with my awesome dorky wallet, then said 'have a nice shay'. Yep - shift and day combined. Silliness personified. Have a nice shay, my people.